Passionate Hurting
by superstar18
Summary: Buffy Summers and Angel O Conner are happily married aith a daughter. What happens when Buffy meets Spike for the first time at a bar and they begin to hopelessly fall for eachother and start an affair? Will Buffy's family be destroyed?
1. Weak at the knees

Hi, this is my first fanfic so please be nice to me! I don't own any of the charactors blah blah blah, I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Spuffy rules!  
  
Lots of Love, Brittany  
  
Chapter One- Weak at the knees  
  
Buffy Summers groaned as her alarm clock awoke her from her sleep. She turned it off and looked at the time, it was seven O clock. Better get up she thought, she didn't want her five-year-old daughter Ella to be late for school again. Yawning, she got out of bed, putting her feet inside her fluffy pink slippers as she did so, and put on her matching pink dressing gown. The California morning sun was shining through the gaps in the curtains and she opened them, revealing that it was yet another beautiful sunny day. As she walked to Ella's bedroom she noticed that there was a picture that Ella had drawn taped to the door, smiling she realised that it was a drawing was of herself, Angel and Ella stood next to each other holding hands with huge smiles on their faces. A perfectly happy family. Buffy opened the door to see her daughter asleep in her bed, she sat down next to her, looking at her beautiful little girl and stroked her rosy cheek, causing her to stir and wake up. "Is it time to get up now Mommy?" Ella asked, sitting up and looking back at Buffy. "It is, you don't want to be late for school do you?" Buffy watched as Ella's face fell, "I don't like school" she murmured, coming over to Buffy and sitting on her lap. "Why not?" she asked, "I'd rather be at home, with you and Daddy, then go to school" "You have to go to school; otherwise you won't grow up to be a clever girl" Ella crawled off Buffy's lap and stayed quiet, and Buffy stood up. "Your uniforms in your wardrobe so get dressed and I'll make your breakfast, Ok?" "Ok" Buffy watched as Ella opened her wardrobe, before walking out of the room and closing the door softly behind her. She sighed, she never used to like school when she was younger either, but she had to go. She looked at her watch, it was nearly twenty past seven, better get cracking on that breakfast, Angel will be home in a minute and he'll be hungry she thought.  
  
"Goodbye Ella" she said, as she dropped Ella off at the school gates, "Be good", she kissed her daughter on the cheek and watched her go into the playground, before driving away.  
  
Buffy unlocked the door to her house and let herself in, closing it behind her. The groceries that she had bought on her way back from the school had been weighing her down, and she was glad to put them on the kitchen counter.  
She heard Angel's snores coming from upstairs, he had obviously been so tired from his night at work that he had forgotten to close the door to their bedroom, she sighed as she quietly crept up the stairs and closed it for him, before going back downstairs again.  
  
Angel,  
I have just gone to the bar for a quick drink. I shouldn't be more then an hour.  
Love,  
Buffy  
  
Buffy read the note in her head before sticking it to the fridge and heading out to her car. She often went out to the bar alone and always left a note for Angel so he wouldn't get worried, and this night was no different.  
  
"Buffy, hi" the barmaid said in her usual cheery tone, "What can I get you?" "Screwdriver please" Buffy said, getting the money out of her purse as the barmaid poured her the drink. "That'll be three dollars please" she said, taking the money from Buffy and giving her the drink "Oh" Buffy heard the barmaid say as she was turning round "Buffy, I don't mean to alarm you but there is an absolutely gorgeous guy checking you out at the other end of the bar" Buffy looked at where the barmaid was pointing and saw an extremely handsome looking man looking over in her direction. His platinum blonde hair and black leather duster made him look tough and quite dangerous but his soft eyes showed Buffy a sensitive side to him. Just looking at him made her go weak at the knees, and she realised that not even Angel had ever made her feel that way before. Pushing all thoughts of Angel out of her mind, she walked over to him. "Hi" she said, noticing her voice was shaking and slightly higher than usual. "Hello" his voice was low and she noticed immediately that he was English. "My name's Buffy" she said, worried that she was going to fall over, she sat down on the bar stool next to him. "Spike" he said, a slow song began to play and couples got onto the dance floor and swayed in time to the music. "Would you like to dance?" he asked her, "Yes" she answered quickly, surprising them both, she picked up her drink and gulped it all down, slamming it back onto the bar when she had finished and he took her hand, leading her up to the floor. He was an amazing dancer, his hands rested around her waist and her arms were around his neck as they danced together, both completely oblivious to what was going on around them. After about a minute of the song, his hands moved downwards and groped her bum, squeezing ever so slightly but not enough for anyone except her to notice. She didn't pull away but smiled seductively at him, making him smile sexily back at her. God he's hot Buffy thought as the song ended and they walked off the dance floor and sat back down on their stools. "Do you want something else to drink Luv?" he asked her "What? Oh! Yeah, I'll have another screwdriver please" she could hardly get out one sentence without stammering as she looked at him "Come again Luv?" "Oh, I forgot you're English, vodka and orange" he smiled at her and ordered the drinks.  
  
Three hours later Buffy staggered out of the bar, clinging onto Spike for support. Tripping over the kerb, she nearly made them both fall over but Spike steadied them, Buffy didn't think it was fair that, although he had had just as much drink as she had, he had managed to stay reasonably sober whilst she could barely stand. Shrugging the thought off, she lead him over to where her car was parked and took out her keys, just as she was getting in the car, she felt his had grab her wrist.  
"Whoa! luv, you're not honestly suggesting driving yourself home are you?" she looked up into his eyes and saw genuine concern but also amusement there.  
"Yeah, why shouldn't I?" she slurred, trying hard to get the keys to start the ignition but failing miserably.  
He didn't answer her, but instead just picked her up out of the car, she didn't complain, but instead just wrapped her arms around his neck as he slammed the door shut and took out his own keys from his duster pocket.  
"How far away do you live?" he asked her as he put her down when the car was out of view.  
"Quite far" she lied, hoping that he would offer to drive her home or, even better, offer to let her spend the night at his place until she was sober enough to drive herself back home.  
"Your car will still be here tomorrow" he said, seeing the hope in her eyes.  
"Do you want to stay over at my place?" he said and she smiled seductively, "In the spare room" he quickly added, normally he wouldn't think twice about fucking a girl he hardly knew but Buffy was different, he actually liked her. "Sure" she said, her arms where still around his neck and he thought about kissing her, but she'd been drinking, and he knew she would regret it in the morning.  
  
Angel tried to ring Buffy's mobile for the third time that evening, in the note she had said that she shouldn't be gone any longer then an hour, and she had now been out for five. Hi this is Buffy. I can't get to the phone right now but if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can, thank you.  
Angel hung up and threw his phone across the room, smashing a vase in the process  
"Where are you Buffy?" he said quietly to himself before going upstairs to check on Ella, at least he could be with one family member that night.  
  
Please review my fic, if you do I'll love you forever if you don't then :P 2u. 


	2. Curiosity killed the cat

Hiya, thank you for all the reviews. U guys rock! Anyway, on with the story...  
  
Chapter Two- Curiosity killed the cat  
  
Buffy lay in the comfortable single bed that Spike had let her use for the night. He had put her to bed virtually straight away when they got to the apartment, letting her use a pair of boxers and a black shirt to sleep in.  
  
She had sobered up quite a lot since she had gone to bed and had started to think about the whole situation seriously instead of a drunken obsession of seeing him naked.  
  
Here she was, Buffy Summers, a married woman, sleeping over at a gorgeous guy's apartment, a guy whom she had only known for less than a day, a guy whom she didn't really know much about, a guy whom, Buffy felt guilty to admit, she was seriously attracted to- and that was when he was fully clothed! Buffy's imagination ran wild as she conjured up different thoughts about what Spike might look like under all that pesky material.  
  
Whoa! Bad Buffy! She thought as she found herself clinging onto the shirt, her nose exploring it for any scents that might resemble him, she found none as the shirt had obviously been washed before he had leant it to her.  
  
Suddenly, an evil thought popped into her mind. She remembered that right that very second he would be sleeping in the room right next door hers. Most probably naked, or at least topless. She grinned maliciously as she got out of bed- this was gonna be fun.  
  
The door creaked slightly as she opened it, and she was afraid of waking him as she crept towards the double bed that he was sleeping in. She couldn't see anything below his waist but she was right about him being topless, and boy, was it worth looking at!  
  
Looking down at him she felt a sudden rush of wetness between her legs; his washboard abs where to die for, toned, smooth skin was just calling to her as she crept closer to him, standing by his bedside. She couldn't help it- she had to see more.  
  
Placing her fingers on the sheet that was covering him she gripped it, preparing to pull it back so that she could see absolutely everything.  
  
"One" she counted  
  
"Two" her grip on the covers became tighter  
  
"Hello Luv!"  
  
"Thr... wait a minute" she looked back at his face and her horrors where confirmed, his eyes where opened, and he was staring right at her, an amused look played across his features as he waited for her explanation.  
  
"I was just...err..."  
  
"Curious?" he offered to finish the sentence for her and she personally would have paid for someone to leap out of the shadows and kill her there and then.  
  
"Err...yeah" she smiled apologetically "Sorry"  
  
"It's alright Luv, we can't help it if we want each other"  
  
"I know...wait, you want me?" she couldn't believe her ears, he wanted her just like she wanted him! A rush of relief ran through her body.  
  
"Very much so" he said, sitting closer to her, "and you want me too"  
  
"Yes" she breathed, his face was less than an inch away from hers and she realised that this was probably going to be the only opportunity that she was going to get.  
  
She took it.  
  
Her lips crushed against his in a blend of passion and tenderness, he responded instantly and they opened their mouths together, letting their tongues dance with each other.  
  
Never breaking the kiss, they fell on the bed with each other and Buffy moaned into his mouth as she felt his hand come up to cup her breast, his hardness rubbing against her.  
  
Although taking off the shirt the proper way wouldn't take long, it was too long for Spike to wait, and he ripped the shirt in one swift movement letting it fall off her and leaving her completely topless.  
  
Not a second had passed before he took one of her rosy nipples into his mouth and began to suck and tease it, making her moan in pleasure as she explored his chest with her hands. Kissing his way up to her lips, he captured them in a tender kiss and pulled the boxers off her.  
  
She wasted no time in getting under the sheets with him, finally managing to feel his throbbing cock against her without anything in between them. She felt his fingers explore the lower regions of her body and she felt the familiar hum as her body prepared for orgasm.  
  
She gasped as he shoved two fingers up her before smiling and arching herself into him, the pleasure was overwhelming, far better than anything that she had ever had with Angel.  
  
Angel.  
  
Angel, her husband. He was probably at home right now, wondering where she was, the note that she had left on the fridge said that she would be gone less than an hour, and she had been out most of the night.  
  
"No" she gasped pushing Spike away from her.  
  
"No?" he questioned her, looking hurt and confused,  
  
"Angel" she said and the confused look in his eyes increased  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Angel-my............husband" she watched as a range of emotions played across his face confusion, anger, pain...  
  
"You have a husband?" he asked, hoping that he had somehow misheard her,  
  
"Yes, oh god, Spike I'm so sorry..." the look of pain on his face increased as he stood up, pulling on his black jeans.  
  
"Well? Are you going to get dressed or not?" he questioned her and she pulled the boxers back on,  
  
"Why?" she asked rather dumbly and he raised his eyebrow at her,  
  
"Well, I don't think that you're husband would be too pleased if I brought you home dressed in my boxers" he smirked, but the humour soon disappeared and was replaced by a stern look on his face.  
  
"Your clothes should still be in the other room"  
  
She stood and looked at him for a moment and their eyes met before she ran out of the bedroom, covering her exposed breasts with her arm.  
  
The drive home was clouded with an uncomfortable silence and whenever Buffy looked across at Spike, he was staring straight ahead, ignoring her. She realised that she had to say something.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thank you"  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Letting me stay at your place, understanding when I told you about Angel"  
  
"You're welcome"  
  
Buffy realised that if she didn't do something soon, this was going to be the last time that she ever saw him.  
  
"Spike, stop the car" he looked over at her with a puzzled expression on his face  
  
"This isn't where you live is it?" he started to slow the car down  
  
"No" the car sped up again.  
  
"Spike just stop the car"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just stop it" she felt the car slow down and come to a halt at the side of the road, he took off his seat belt and turned to look at her, she did the same.  
  
He started to say something but she put her finger to his lips and he stopped.  
  
"Spike, you have been so nice to me tonight" she began to trace his jaw bone with her finger,  
  
"Luv, may I just ask you where is this going?"  
  
She looked into his sapphire eyes and took a deep breath,  
  
"Take me back to your apartment Spike" she watched as his eyes widened  
  
"What?" he wanted to make sure that he had heard her correctly,  
  
"Take me back to your apartment..." she paused as her hand began playing with the blonde curls on his head, "...and make love to me"  
  
She watched as he took a deep breath, "Luv, are you sure?"  
  
She answered him by kissing him softly on the lips, "Yes" she said as she pulled away.  
  
Angel woke up from a nightmare that he had been having. He looked over to the other side of the bed, hoping that Buffy was sleeping there...  
  
She wasn't.  
  
Breathing heavily, Angel picked up the phone...  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hello Joyce, It's Angel"  
  
"Oh hello Angel, why are you calling me at this time?"  
  
"I just..." Angel remembered that Joyce wasn't too well at the moment and too much worry could make it worse, so he told a lie...  
  
"I have just been called into work...it's an emergency...will you come over and look after Ella for me?"  
  
"Well...yes of course...but can't Buffy do it?"  
  
Angel's mind raced, thinking of an exuse as to why Buffy wasn't home,  
  
"She's out with some friends...did she not tell you?"  
  
"No, she didn't" Joyce sounded a little suspicious to Angel but she chose not to say anything...  
  
"Alright... I'll be over in about ten minutes, ok?"  
  
"Ok, see you in a bit"  
  
"Ok, bye"  
  
Angel hung up the phone and anxiously pulled on some jeans and a shirt, he had to go and find Buffy...  
  
Buffy moaned as Spike began to kiss her neck, pulling down the straps of her skimpy little top as he did so, he had already removed his shirt and she was exploring those rock hard abs of his once again with her delicate fingers.  
  
Letting the top fall to the floor, Buffy managed to tear herself away from Spike's top half for a second to wriggle out of her jeans and panties, he did the same with his own and their naked bodies entwined with each other as they fell onto the bed again, but with much more passion and much less guilt from Buffy's part then the last time.  
  
Whilst Spike teased her nipples with his mouth and fingers, Buffy threw her head back and moaned in pleasure. He kissed his way up to her mouth and captured her lips in a tender kiss as he felt her wetness with his fingers, smiling slightly, he slowly lowered himself inside her and they came together.  
  
Angel stormed out of the house and into his car, he knew the way to the bar where Buffy often had a drink at and he was sure that the cheery barmaid that worked there would give him some information if she wasn't there.  
  
Walking into the bar, Angel noticed that Buffy wasn't anywhere to be seen, shit he thought, he hated talking to the bimbo barmaid with all her false smiles and flirty outfits, but it had to be done, so he managed to plaster a smile on his face and walk up to the bar.  
  
"Exuse me?" he said to her and she turned around, smiling seducivly at him,  
"What can I get you...handsome?" she said, leaning over slightly so that her breasts almost bulged right out of her low-cut top.  
  
"I'm looking for Buffy Summers, have you seen her?" he asked, forcing himself to look at her face,  
  
"Oh Buffy, kinda small, blonde, left about ten hours ago with a really hot guy? That Buffy?"  
  
"Err...yeah she left with a guy?" Angel felt like he was going to explode on the spot,  
  
"Oh yeah, and they looked really into each other too" the barmaid's smile widened,  
  
"Why? Are you jealous? Are you into her too?" the barmaid's eyes flicked down to look at the gold ring on Angel's finger,  
  
"Oh dear, well honey I think it's best that you don't act on your attraction, the wife might not be too pleased" she said, waving a finger at him  
  
"The wife is Buffy!" Angel almost screamed, but managed to control himself at the last minute,  
  
"Oh..." the barmaid looked uncomfortable and the smile faded, "well...I'm sure they're just friends, here let me pour you a drink, on the house huh?"  
  
"No, that's Ok thank you very much...this guy, what did he look like?"  
  
The barmaid's smile appeared again and a dreamy look came over her face,  
  
"Oh he was very handsome...blonde hair, leather jacket, high cheekbones..." the barmaid seemed to drift off into dreamland after that and Angel gave up, striding out of the bar, he decided to go back home, wanting to have a long talk with Buffy when she came back.  
  
If she came back.  
  
Please Review Love, Brittany xxx 


	3. Family

Hiya. Thank you again 4 the lovely reviews- I honestly didn't think I'd get any! This chapter is a little shorter than the other two but I promise I'll update soon...  
  
Chapter Three- Family  
  
Buffy smiled as she awoke, feeling Spike's strong arms around her. Looking up at him, she saw that he was still asleep, a tiny little smile on his face, hardly noticeable unless you looked closely. She debated in her head whether to wake him up, but decided not to and snuggled up closer to him, closing her eyes and sinking into pure bliss.  
  
Angel paced around the kitchen, it was almost seven in the morning and Buffy still wasn't home yet. Feeling depressed and alone, he took out a bottle of whiskey from the fridge and opened it, filling a glass and gulping the whole lot down, feeling some kind of release as the powerful liquid burned down his throat, he was just about to pour himself another glass when he heard the alarm clock go off in his bedroom upstairs-Buffy was obviously going to use it to wake her up so that she could get Ella ready for school in time.  
  
"Ella" he said to himself.  
  
After putting the glass and bottle away, he ran up the stairs to wake his daughter. Creeping into the bedroom, he noticed that the Ella was sat up; she looked over at him with a puzzled expression on her face.  
  
"Where's mommy?" she asked  
  
Angel didn't want to worry Ella, so he lied again,  
  
"Mommy's gone...err...to the shop" it was easy; five year olds can buy anything.  
  
"Do I have to go school?" Ella moaned, looking up at Angel hopefully,  
  
"Yes" he stated bluntly, "Where does Mommy usually put your uniform?"  
  
"In the wardrobe...Daddy?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why do I have to wear a uniform? My friend Katy doesn't have to wear a uniform"  
  
"You go to a better school then her...well, get dressed, I'll make you breakfast downstairs, ok?"  
  
"Ok"  
  
Buffy woke up again to find Spike gone, but a delicious smell coming from the kitchen, he was making her breakfast! Angel never did that, it was always her making him breakfast. Buffy felt guilty as she thought about Angel, but pushed him from her mind when Spike came in, carrying a tray with breakfast on it.  
  
"Good morning Buffy" he said to her, laying the tray down in front of her, Buffy looked at it. Bacon, toast, eggs, sausages, cereal, it was all there and Buffy felt her mouth begin to water, the closest Angel ever came to cooking food was driving down to Denny's with her- not very romantic.  
  
"Well are you going to eat it, or are you one of those girls who lives of salad?" he said, raising an eyebrow at her, she smiled before leaning over the tray and kissing him softly.  
  
"Thank you, and no- I hate salad, it's what rabbits eat" she said before taking a piece of toast and biting into it- delicious!  
  
"Do you have a shower?" Buffy asked, swallowing the last piece of bacon in her mouth, she couldn't deny that she had just eaten the best breakfast she had ever tasted, but she felt all hot and sticky and needed a wash.  
  
"Yeah, the bathroom's the door nearest to the fridge in the kitchen" he said, he smirked and Buffy felt paranoid,  
  
"What?" she asked, looking down to see if she had spilt anything,  
  
"You want some company?" he asked, his voice was low and sexy, and Buffy couldn't have said no if she wanted to.  
  
"Well, I suppose I do sometimes get a little lonely in the shower all by myself..." she said seductively before grabbing him and kissing him passionately, crushing her naked breasts onto his chest and he moaned as their tongues danced again. She broke the kiss and ran into the bathroom. He waited for about half a minute before running in himself, closing the door behind him.  
  
When he arrived in the bathroom, she was already in the shower, grinning evilly, he slid the shower curtain across and came up behind her, putting his hands around her chest to feel her breasts, she gasped as her began kissing her neck and she turned around, meeting his lips with a fiery kiss.  
  
He broke the kiss and reached for the soap, rubbing it on the flannel and wiping it over her stomach, breasts, back, shoulders until she was all clean.  
  
She then took the flannel and washed him, making him moan with pleasure as her fingers lightly touched his cock.  
  
Angel unlocked the door and let himself into the house, closing the door behind him.  
  
"Buffy?" he called.  
  
Silence. She wasn't back yet. He had to tell someone the truth, so he picked up the phone and dialled, If Joyce wasn't well, that was her problem, and she had to know the truth about her daughter.  
  
Buffy pulled on her jeans and top as quickly as she could. In her opinion, any time that she wasn't with Spike was wasted, and, it hurt her to say it, she would have to go back home to Angel and Ella soon.  
  
Spike walked into the room, he was wearing his tight black jeans, black top with an open red shirt over the top, Buffy could only think of one word: Yum!  
  
She knew that although her heart told her to do otherwise, her mind was screaming at her to go home, and, for once in her life, her mind won that battle.  
  
"Spike" she said, walking up to him,  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Please understand me when I say that I have to go" she saw the hurt expression come back on his face again and she felt tears filling up in her eyes.  
  
"I have a family" she continued, putting her hand on his arm,  
  
"I know" he said "You should go back to your husband...you love him" Buffy detected a hint of jealousy in his voice when he spoke about Angel but decided not to say anything, instead she just kissed him tenderly on the lips, the kiss lasted a long time before he broke it.  
  
"Go" he said "You belong with him"  
  
Tears began to fall down her face as she said goodbye to him but she knew it was the right thing to do, opening the door to the apartment she looked back at him one last time before closing the door and heading out for her car.  
  
Please review, love to you all,  
Brittany  
xxx 


	4. Trying again

Hiya, thank you again for all the great reviews. This chapter is a little longer than the other chapters because a few of you wanted the chapters to be longer, I hope that this is good enough for you...  
  
Chapter Four- Trying again  
  
Angel and Joyce sat in the living room. Joyce had come to the house little after Angel had called her, trying to convince him that Buffy was a loving and faithful wife, and would never cheat on him.  
  
"The barmaid saw her go out with another guy...what else could they be doing?" Angel said sadly, pouring himself a glass of whiskey,  
  
"Yes, but did she actually see them do anything?" Angel shook his head and Joyce watched him with sympathy,  
  
Angel was about to open his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, looking around, he saw Buffy stood in the doorway, tears were streaming down her face and she was fiddling with her hands.  
  
"Buffy!" he shouted, running up to her and throwing his arms around her. Although he wanted to her every single detail of where she was, he was still so glad that she was back safe and sound  
  
"Where were you?" he asked, hoping that Joyce had been right,  
  
"I was staying over at a friends house" she lied, Angel didn't look convinced,  
  
"Oh, that's strange because after you had been missing for most of the night I went to the bar to find you and the barmaid gave me some information" Buffy just stared at him, playing dumb.  
  
"She said she saw you leaving the bar with another man" Angel said and Buffy could see the rage bubbling up inside him.  
  
"She was lying, you know what she's like...she probably just wanted to split us up so that she could get off with you" Buffy watched Angel's face hopefully. There was a long silence before Angel spoke up again,  
  
"Really? There was no guy?"  
  
"There's only one guy who I want" Buffy said Yeah, Spike the evil voice in her head spoke up again.  
  
Joyce broke the silence, "Could I please speak to Buffy alone Angel?  
  
"Sure" Angel walked out of the living room and upstairs, Joyce waited until he was completely out of sight before talking,  
  
"Who is he?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Who is the guy you went out of the bar with?"  
  
"Mom! You heard me talking to Angel, there was no guy!"  
  
"Buffy. I have been your mother for twenty-three years and I know when you are lying" She looked at Buffy in a caring way and Buffy knew that she had to tell her,  
  
"His name is Spike" she said, looking down at the floor, she felt her mother's hand cup her chin, forcing her to look up again,  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I got a little tipsy and he let me stay over at his apartment for the night..." she trailed off and Joyce told her to keep going,  
  
"He was so nice to me mom, we were very attracted to each other"  
  
"Did you cheat on Angel?"  
  
"Well, I um... kinda...um..."  
  
"Did you cheat on Angel?" Joyce's tone was sterner this time and Buffy knew that she had to tell the truth...  
  
"Yes, ok? I did cheat on him, but it's over now, it was just a one time thing...don't tell Angel please!"  
  
Joyce looked at Buffy with shock before turning away,  
  
"I won't tell Angel but don't do it again, If not for Angel then for Ella"  
  
Joyce walked towards the door and walked out, Buffy stared after her for a moment before bursting into tears, she looked up when she felt Angel's hand on her shoulder,  
  
"Don't cry Buffy" he looked at his watch, "Do you want to go out for lunch, just you and me?"  
  
Buffy looked at his warm eyes, some quality time with her husband could help her forget about Spike...  
  
"Sure, that'll be lovely. I'll just be ten minutes I have to get changed" she ran upstairs and into their room, throwing herself down on the bed and sobbing, god, she had only known this man for a day and already he was all she could think about.  
  
He couldn't stop thinking about her.  
  
In the four hours since she left he had been strolling around his apartment trying to think of anything that could take his mind off her. Nothing did.  
He felt overwhelmed by jealousy as he thought of her husband, my god that man didn't know what he had! Buffy was the perfect woman and he must have been treating her real bad for her to cheat on him. He smiled as he thought of the night they had spent together, the breakfast that they had shared and their final kiss, sure he had only known her for a day but already he was head over heels in love with her.  
  
Whoa!!! Since when had he been in love with her! Since the first time you saw her said a little voice in the back of his head, as much as he tried to deny it, it was true.  
  
He had fallen in love with a married woman.  
  
"SHIT!" he yelled, falling backwards onto his bed, the bed that they had shared not five hours ago.  
  
Sitting at the little café with Angel, Buffy felt like her whole world was collapsing around her. She could see her husband's mouth moving, but she couldn't hear what he was saying, she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts about Spike. She snapped back into reality as she tried to listen,  
  
"So I think we should try for another" she heard Angel say  
  
"Another what?"  
  
"Another baby! God Buffy where've you been for the last five minutes of me talking to you?"  
  
"Another baby?" she immediately dismissed the idea, how could she have another baby with one man when she couldn't stop thinking about another.  
  
"No, I don't think that it's such a good idea right now, y'know with my mum being ill and all..." she saw the hurt look on Angel's face and melted.  
  
"On second thoughts...yeah why not?" what the hell had come over her?  
  
"You really want to?" he sounded excited and Buffy just couldn't find it in her heart to disappoint him.  
  
"I really, really want to" she said and Angel leaned over the table and kissed her.  
  
Buffy and Angel arrived home about an hour later holding hands when Angel suddenly realised that Ella was still at school.  
  
"Hey" he said to Buffy,  
  
"Yeah?  
  
"You know about trying for a baby?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"What about trying right now?"  
  
Spike crinkled up his beer can and threw it in the bin, taking a cigarette out of his duster pocket he took a drag to calm his nerves but it wasn't working. Buffy was the only thing on his mind, and she had been ever since he had met her. He looked at his watch, it was 6:00pm, that time the day before she would have just met him now, and they would have been dancing saucily together, he was such an idiot, why? Why didn't he just tell her then that he had already started falling for her? Why did he let her go that morning? A million questions started running around his head and he decided that the best thing to do would be to take a walk in the park to clear his head, grabbing his duster he walked out of his apartment, heading for the park.  
  
Buffy looked across at Angel's sleeping form and then at the clock, she had rung Katy's mom and asked if Ella could stop over there for the night and, luckily, she said that that would be no problem.  
  
Looking over at Angel again she realised how much hotter and cuter Spike was when he was asleep, Spike didn't snore and every so often would breath a little deeper when he was dreaming, Angel snored loudly and slept with his mouth wide open- not very flattering.  
  
Buffy realised that she had to get out of there and clear her head, she decided that a walk would be her best bet so she quietly got dressed, put her coat and shoes on, and went to the park.  
  
Spike lit a cigarette and inhaled, smiling as he felt the relief sweep through his body.  
  
"Damn her" he said to himself. He had been in the park for about an hour and was beginning to feel a bit better, but he didn't know whether that was because of the fresh air or the twelve cans of Guinness that he had drunk since he arrived.  
  
Sighing, he sat down on a bench, she had stolen his heart, and he was never going to see her again.  
  
Buffy wrapped her coat tighter around her shivering body, it was quite unusual for California to be that cold, but the weather usually matched her mood, coincidently, it began to rain.  
  
"Shit" she muttered under her breath, she coughed slightly as she inhaled the smoke off of a cigarette coming from behind the bushes.  
  
Looking around a corner, she noticed the dim lights of the bar that she had first met Spike in; she felt tears welling up in her eyes as she thought of him. The rain began to fall heavier  
  
She was just about to give up and go home when she heard a british voice muttering behind the bush where the smoke was coming from.  
  
"Damn woman"  
  
Buffy took a deep breath as her tears began to fall. It couldn't be him could it?  
  
Curiosity soon getting the better of her she walked unsteadily around the bush, her hair was now soaking wet and her mascara was running down her face, the sensible option would be to go home before she got ill but she was fed up with being sensible now, it was what made her leave him in the first place.  
  
"Spike?" she whispered as she peered around, she looked at the man, his face was hidden but his tell tale platinum blonde hair gave him away.  
  
"Spike" she said shaking him to look at her, he looked up and she saw the trails that tears had left down his face.  
  
"Buffy?" he gasped, obviously surprised by her presence,  
  
"It's me" she whispered, her tears were running freely down her face and he stood up, facing her.  
  
The rain was pouring down and they were both soaking wet but that didn't stop them. Before two seconds had passed their lips were on each other's and her arms wrapped around his neck as he held her waist. It felt like coming home.  
  
He broke the kiss and looked at her, a look of shock played on his face,  
  
"You came back to me?" he said, wiping her tears with his thumb.  
  
"I couldn't stay away" a weak smile came across her face and he kissed her again.  
  
Angel groaned as he woke up. He put his arms around where Buffy was supposed to be lying.  
  
There was nothing there.  
  
He sat up, "Buffy?" he called out, nothing. She had gone off and left him again.  
  
He angrily got out of bed and put some clothes on. He was going to find her and she was going to tell him what was going on. They were trying for another baby for God's sake; they shouldn't be keeping secrets from each other!  
  
Running downstairs he grabbed his coat and walked swiftly out of the door, he wasn't going to let her get away with doing this for the second time.  
  
Ella lay awake talking to her friend; Katy. They had begun to talk about how Katy's Mom and Dad had split up when she was just three years old and Ella was thankful that her Mom and Dad loved each other very much.  
  
"They just started fighting all the time" Katy said sadly, looking over at Ella from her camp bed on the floor,  
  
"Why?" Ella asked, she was curious about why two people would get married in the first place if they were always fighting  
  
"I heard my Mom say that she loved Gavin, not my Dad"  
  
"Who's Gavin?"  
  
"A guy that kept coming round to our house when my Dad was at work. My Mom always used to put me to bed and lock the door to her bedroom and she and Gavin would stay inside for hours"  
  
Ella felt sorry for her friend; it must be really difficult if your Mum loves someone who isn't your Dad she thought.  
  
"Mmmmm" Buffy breathed as she lay in Spike's arms, they had just had the most amazing sex ever, snuggling up to him even more, she closed her eyes, she didn't want to be anywhere else in the world but there.  
  
"Buffy?" her eyes snapped open when she heard him say her name,  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What about Angel?" She shuddered when she thought about how she had been with her husband that very same day,  
  
"What about him?"  
  
"He's your husband Luv"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Are you gonna come clean to him about us?"  
  
Buffy couldn't believe what she was hearing; he wanted her to come clean about cheating. No. way.  
  
"Why should I? Do you want me to?" She asked, her voice shaking  
  
"No, no...I was just...never mind, let's just sleep okay?"  
  
He was just closing his eyes when he heard Buffy speak up again,  
  
"What do I mean to you?" she asked. Surprised when he didn't answer she looked up to see him asleep already; she shut her eyes and soon drifted off as well. Spike opened his eyes.  
  
"Everything" he whispered, kissing the top of her head and closing his eyes.  
  
Angel stormed into the bar, grabbing the barmaid and forcing her to face him,  
  
"Who was the guy that Buffy went out of here with the other day?" he asked angrily,  
  
"Oh! The sexy blonde?" Angel sighed,  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"He comes in here quite a lot, his name is Spike"  
  
"Where does he live?"  
  
"I'm not sure..." "Where does he live?!"  
  
"In the apartment block across the street, I dunno what number, are you gonna drink something or what?"  
  
"No" Angel said "Thanks for the information though" he placed ten dollars on the bar and the barmaid looked at him anxiously,  
  
"What are you gonna do?"  
  
"What I have to" Angel said as he stormed out of the bar, cracking his knuckles.  
  
Spike was woken up by banging on the door of the apartment next to him, there was some more banging and Buffy woke up,  
  
"What's going on?" she asked  
  
"I dunno" he said, kissing her head again, "Do you want something to eat or drink?"  
  
The banging got louder as it came to Spike's door, Buffy's eyes widened as she heard Angel's voice,  
  
"Come on Buffy, I know you're in there." He bellowed, banging even harder on the door,  
  
"Oh God" Buffy whispered, "Spike, that's Angel, he knows about us"  
  
"Why? Did you tell him?"  
  
"No, he must have figured it out"  
  
"Well then he's gonna feel a bit of a wanker when he finds me in here alone- quick! Hide in the closet!" Buffy kissed him quickly on the lips before leaping into the closet, Spike put on his dressing gown and walked calmly to the door. Answering it, he saw Angel stood there.  
  
"Can I help you?" he asked, his eyebrows raised innocently,  
  
"Where's Buffy?" Angel asked, pushing past Spike and into the apartment,  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Buffy, my wife, the woman you brought home a couple of nights ago"  
  
"Oh! That Buffy! She's just an old school friend; she got a little tipsy that night so I walked her out and got her a cab"  
  
Angel looked at him, searching for any clues that he might be lying. He found none but continued to ask questions,  
  
"Really, what time was this?"  
  
"Oh, I dunno, about midnight"  
  
"Really? Well that's funny...she was out all night"  
  
"Well, erm...we were talking in the bar for a little while and she mentioned something about staying over at a friend's house that night"  
  
Angel calmed down a little.  
  
"If I ever find out that you're lying to me..." he said threateningly,  
  
"I'm not" Spike said, his eyes never leaving Angel's, he was a good liar.  
  
Angel pushed past Spike again and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Buffy ran out of the closet and hugged Spike,  
  
"I thought he was gonna really hurt you" she said, it was obvious that she had been sobbing,  
  
"Yeah, so did I, but he didn't did he?" he said, hugging her tighter, she pulled away and looked into his eyes.  
  
"I love you" she whispered, surprising them both, he smiled,  
  
"I love you too" he said and they pulled each other in for a tender but passionate kiss.  
  
Closing the door behind her, Buffy walked into the house, she could hear the T.V in the living room so it was obvious that Angel was home, just as she was going to go in, Ella ran up to her and wrapped her little arms around her.  
  
"We didn't know where you where mommy!" she said and Buffy hugged her back,  
  
"Oh, I was...um...having dinner with my mom" she said, Joyce knew about the affair and she knew that she would cover for her.  
  
"Daddy was ever so worried" she said leading her into the living room,  
  
"Look Mommy's home!" she called and Angel stood up quickly to face the two of them,  
  
"Ella, will you leave Mom and Dad to talk in private please?" he asked and Ella smiled and walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Where were you? I looked everywhere for you!" he said, pulling her into a tight hug, he obviously wasn't too suspicious about Spike anymore since the apartment.  
  
"I was having dinner with my Mom. Did she not tell you?" she said, pulling away,  
  
"It must have slipped her mind; you know how forgetful she is these days"  
  
"Yeah..." Buffy muttered, she looked at the clock; it was almost half past ten.  
  
"Well..." she said, "Ella should get to bed, she's got school tomorrow"  
  
"I'll put her to bed" Angel said cheerfully "While I'm doing that...I want you to do this..." he walked her upstairs and into the bathroom, closing the door behind them.  
  
He opened a drawer and took out a chemist bag and Buffy opened it.  
  
A pregnancy test.  
  
"Okay Buffy, I'll go and get Ella..." he went downstairs and she shut and locked the door.  
  
"Come on Ella" Angel called, he sure hoped that Buffy was pregnant; it would be a great chance to turn over a new leaf in their relationship.  
  
"Coming" Ella called, coming upstairs, she giggled as Angel picked her up and carried her off to bed,  
  
"Read me a story?" she asked hopefully,  
  
"Okay then...which one?"  
  
Buffy just stared at the thin blue line. It was amazing that something that small told her which direction her life was going to take. She had prayed that she wasn't pregnant, but she was. Why did God hate her so much?  
  
She was pregnant again and one of two men could be the father.  
  
Please review, love,  
Brittany  
xxx 


	5. Advice and Choices

Hiya, I can't think of anything to say so just read the story...  
  
Chapter Five- Advice and Choices  
  
"Buffy, are you okay in there? Is it positive?" Buffy heard Angel call into her; she unlocked the door and came out,  
  
"I'm pregnant" she said smiling, Angel pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly,  
  
"Oh Buffy" he said, she could feel the wetness of his tears on her shoulder and she pulled away,  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked,  
  
"It's just...well, I think that this is such a great thing for our marriage" he said and she smiled weakly,  
  
"Yeah..." she said, "Angel I know this isn't the best time............but I have to go and talk to my mom, I'll be back in half an hour" She kissed him on the lips before putting her coat on again and walking out of the front door, leaving Angel alone.  
  
Spike sat on his bed, he was so happy; she had just told him that she loved him. Surely she would leave Angel now? Actually, he wasn't so sure that she would. I mean, he knew that she loved him, but Angel was her husband, and he knew that Buffy just wasn't the type of person to hurt someone that way. Sighing, he put on his leather duster and strolled out to the bar. He needed a drink.  
  
"So you're telling me you're pregnant..." Joyce said, "And you don't know which one of two men is the father..."  
  
"Yes" Buffy said simply,  
  
"But you told me that the affair was over"  
  
"I know mom, I can't help it I've fall..." Buffy paused, and her mom looked at her with sympathetic eyes,  
  
"Go on..."  
  
"I've fallen in love with him mom. I've...I've fallen in love with spike"  
  
"Does he know?"  
  
"Yeah, I told him today"  
  
"No...does he know about the baby?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "No he...he doesn't  
"You have to tell him...now"  
  
"Mom I can't, Angel's expecting me home any minute and I don't even know if the baby actually is Spike's yet"  
  
"Blood test...tell Spike to take a blood test, it's the only way to find out for sure that it's his"  
  
"Okay, I'll go tomorrow"  
  
"No, you have to go now, I'll tell Angel a cover story, just go now"  
  
Buffy hugged her Mom tightly, "Thanks mom, I'll tell him now"  
  
Spike unlocked the door to his apartment and walked in, holding a cigarette in his unsteady hand.  
  
He had been chatted up by some pretty hot chicks when he was there but none of them could have held a candle to Buffy, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but she wasn't his, and that bothered him.  
  
He threw himself onto the sofa and pressed on the T.V, he sighed as he flicked through channel after channel seeing nothing that interested him. He turned it off; nothing could distract him from her. A knock at the door made him jump and he got off the sofa and opened it.  
  
"Buffy." He said, pulling her in for a kiss, she responded for a second before pulling away and Spike knew instantly that something was wrong.  
  
"What's up?" he asked,  
  
She looked at him nervously, "I'm pregnant" she said quietly  
  
"Pregnant?" he asked, "Is it..."  
  
"Yours? I dunno, Spike I need you to do something for me..."  
  
"Anything Luv"  
  
"Take a blood test; I wanna see if the baby's yours"  
  
"What if it is?"  
  
"Spike if it is I'm gonna.........I'm gonna have to lie..."  
  
"And say its Angel's?" Buffy nodded  
  
"And you just assumed I'd be happy with that? You thought I'd be happy watching my child grow up thinking that another man is its father?"  
  
"Spike please don't make this harder"  
  
"Fine. I'll take a blood test but if it is mine I'm not gonna let you do that. Understood?"  
  
"Yeah" Buffy nodded, "I'm gonna have to go now but promise me you're gonna take that test?"  
  
"I promise" She smiled and walked off, leaving Spike to shut the door. He couldn't believe it, he could be a father? He hoped to God that it was his, and then she would have to leave Angel...  
  
Buffy lay in bed next to her husband. Angel had bee so pleased and excited when he found out that she was going to have a baby and she felt desperately sorry for him knowing that it was only a small chance that it was his. She turned over and watched him sleep, what would he do? She wondered, if he found out that she didn't really love him anymore, that she had fallen in love and began an affair with another man and there was a massive chance that it was his baby? He would go raving mad, that's what.  
  
Buffy would have given anything for it to have been Spike lying next to her. She sighed, to have Spike as her husband would be perfect, they could raise their child together and live happily ever after, but it was a dream, and that's all it would ever be.  
  
Buffy woke up to the sound of her alarm clock going off, it was a Saturday but she got up anyway. She looked across to Angel's side of the bed, he wasn't there but the sound of the shower running gave her a big clue to where he was.  
  
Spike sat in the doctor's office, he had taken the blood test the night before and the doctor had rung him to tell him that the results were in, the door opened, and she walked in with a pile of papers in her hand.  
  
"Look, I don't have a lot of time so can we just cut to the chase?" he asked and she looked at him as if he had just seriously offended her,  
  
"Alright then," she said bluntly, "it's yours...you are the father of this child, congratulations...now please, get out of my office, I have a..." she stopped when she noticed that he had already gone out, "meeting" she finished to herself.  
  
Buffy knocked on the door of his apartment, there was no answer, she knocked again and jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, she turned around.  
  
"Hello Luv" Spike said, pulling her in for a kiss, it quickly deepened and their tongues danced for a second before she broke the kiss.  
  
"So? Did you take the test?"  
  
"I did"  
  
"And?"  
  
"It's mine Buffy. The baby's mine."  
  
"Really? I mean you're not just saying that so that I'll...Angel..."  
  
"Buffy" he silenced her, "It's mine, I took the blood test and the doctor said that it's mine"  
  
He unlocked the door to his apartment and they both walked inside, as soon as he had shut the door she began talking...  
  
"What are we gonna do? Angel thinks that the baby is his and...well...I just couldn't hurt him like that. Ella, oh my God, Ella! She's gonna be so excited...I'm sure Angel will have told her by now. I'm sorry Spike I can't leave them I just can't and I..."  
  
He silenced her with a passionate kiss and she immediately opened her mouth, letting their tongues find each other again. She moaned as they fell onto the sofa, he broke the kiss and began lightly nipping her collar bone.  
  
She undid his shirt, exposing his rock hard chest and he did the same with her, expertly un doing her bra clasp as he did so.  
  
"No...Spike...not here...the bedroom..." he heard her pant and he stood up and she followed him into the bedroom.  
  
As soon as the door was closed, they kissed once more and, never parting from his lips, she started to fiddle with his belt buckle. Sliding his hand up her short denim skirt he pulled down her skimpy panties and she wrapped her legs around his waist before they fell onto the bed together.  
  
Just as she felt the pleasure rising, she heard the familiar ring of her cell phone, groaning, she started to get up but Spike held her back and kissed her on the lips again.  
  
"No...Spike..." she said in between kisses, "I have to...get...that..." he finally sighed and let her go. Taking his dressing gown off of the hook behind the door she put it on herself and went to answer her phone in the living room.  
  
"Hello?" she answered,  
  
"Hello Buffy, It's your mom, did he get the results of the test yet?" she gasped as she felt Spike come up behind her and start kissing her neck.  
  
"Y'know what mom...now...oh!... now isn't such a good...ahhh...time for me to talk...I'm kinda...ohhhh...busy" she pushed Spike away and he got the message and went back into the bedroom.  
  
"Oh, well never mind. Surely you're not too busy to tell me who the father is?"  
  
"Oh mom! Is that all you've been thinking about all day? Alright fine, Spike's the father, not Angel..."  
  
"Oh dear, honey I need to talk to you then, can you and Spike both come round to my house after you've finished what you're doing?"  
  
"Yeah. Hang on me and Spike? Ok, Sure, see you later" She hung up the phone and went back into the bedroom; spike immediately ran up to her and kissed her.  
  
"That" kiss "Was my" kiss "Mom" kiss "She knows about us" the kissing stopped and Spike pulled away to look at her.  
  
"She knows?"  
  
"Yeah, she kinda figured it out after I spent the night at your place"  
  
"Well, is she gonna tell Angel?"  
  
"No, she promised not to, I trust her. She knows the baby's yours. I told her just now."  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"She said that she wanted both of us to come round to her house"  
  
Joyce was nervous about meeting Spike for the first time but he was going to be the father of her second grandchild so she wanted to see what he was like, and talk to the both of them about the whole situation with Angel and Ella.  
  
The doorbell rang and pulled her from her thoughts and she went to answer it.  
  
They were both stood there holding hands. He was shorter than he imagined, only a few inches taller then Buffy. He was very handsome she thought but in her opinion, his blonde hair didn't do him any favours.  
  
"Come in" she said and they silently followed her, she could feel the love and passion coming off them in waves.  
  
"You must be Spike" she held out a hand and he shook it nervously, "I don't bite you know" she said and he smiled.  
  
"Mom" Buffy broke the nervous silence, "We need to talk to you, we kinda need your help" Joyce felt honoured but slightly uncomfortable that they were seeing her as someone who could help them.  
  
Joyce lead the two of them into the living room where they sat down, "I assume that this is going to be about the baby" she said and they nodded,  
  
"We don't know what we're going to do" Buffy said, "I mean, we don't want to tell Angel, but we don't want him to raise the child thinking that he is it's Dad." They both looked at Joyce with desperate looks in their eyes and she tried to think of a solution,  
  
"You two love each other right?" Joyce asked and they nodded,  
  
"Buffy do you still love Angel?" she asked and Buffy shook her head, "no" she said, "not anymore"  
  
"Then you have to leave him" she paused, taking in the look of horror on her daughter's face.  
  
"Buffy, you don't love him anymore, you love another man, you're having Spike's baby...he's gonna find out sooner or later and I think that it should be now, or at least before you give birth to the child" Buffy looked at her and sighed,  
  
"Spike?" she said and he looked at her, "Could you leave my mom and I alone for a minute?" he smiled and nodded before walking outside and Buffy saw him take out a packet of cigarettes before he closed the door.  
  
"Mom I can't leave Angel..." she began "...I love Spike so much but I can't leave Angel"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Ella...it would destroy her, just the other week...before I even met Spike she was saying how lucky she was because her mom and dad loved each other and hadn't split up like some of her friend's parents...I couldn't do this to her mom, I just couldn't"  
  
"I understand. Buffy sometimes love is a strange thing, you fall for people who you really shouldn't, and don't love people who you really should. I know this might sound a little cheesy but Buffy you have to listen to what your heart wants"  
  
Buffy stood up, "Thank you mom, I'm gonna think it over, goodbye" she lightly kissed her mom on the cheek before going outside to rejoin Spike.  
  
Buffy came into her living room to see Angel sat in an armchair waiting for her, as soon as he saw her, he stood up and faced her.  
  
"Angel? What's up?" she asked, her heart thumping, he couldn't possibly know...could he?  
  
"Buffy" he said calmly "Tonight I have to go away on a business trip for a couple of days, will you be okay here on your own?"  
  
"Sure" Buffy said, finally she could have some time to think about things without Angel constantly butting his nose in.  
  
"Okay then" he said and he kissed her goodbye, "I better get going, I don't want to miss my flight" she smiled and waved before collapsing on a chair after he shut the door. A mischievous grin spread across her face; there were other things that she could do now that Angel was away...  
  
Please Review, love,  
Brittany  
xxx 


	6. Confessions

Hiya. I didn't have time to do a spell check on this chapter so it might have a couple of mistakes but hopefully not too many. I have started a new fiction called "choices." Its b/s obviously. Don't worry- I will keep writing this one.  
  
Chapter Six- Confessions  
  
Buffy lead Spike up the stairs in her house, "That's the bathroom" she said, pointing to the bathroom with her spare hand, "That's Ella's room" she said, pointing to another room, "and this..." she pulled Spike into the biggest room and slammed the door,  
  
"...is my bedroom" she pinned him against the wall and kissed him passionately, he quickly returned the kiss and she wrapped her legs around his waist making them fall onto the bed. She quickly unplugged the phone line, she wanted this love making session not to be disturbed by any calls...  
  
Ella sat in the corner of the playground with her friend, Chloe. She really didn't feel well at all; her head was spinning, and her stomach was aching badly, eventually Chloe spoke up,  
  
"You've been a lot quieter than usual today Ella. Is everything alright?"  
  
"No" she shook her head, "I don't feel very well at all"  
  
"Maybe you should speak to a teacher and ask if they could ring home and ask someone to pick you up from school"  
  
"Will they not shout at me?"  
  
"Of course not, you can't help it if you're ill, I'll ask one for you if you like"  
  
"Okay" Chloe linked arms with Ella and they walked up to a teacher,  
  
"Can I help you dears?" the teacher asked, looking at Ella with a worried look on her face,  
  
"Yes, Ella feels really ill; can you ring her house and ask if she can go home please?" Chloe asked politely,  
  
"Of course, Ella why don't you come with me," the teacher held out her hand and Ella took it and walked off with her,  
  
Buffy and Spike laid underneath the sheets on the bed, their naked bodies were entwined and they both finally felt a sense of freedom now that they didn't have to worry about Angel catching them together.  
  
"This is so nice" Buffy said, snuggling up to his chest,  
  
"I know, I gotta say I can't feel completely at rest until we figure out what we're going to do about this baby"  
  
"We'll figure something out, I know one thing though, whatever we do I want you involved" she smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the lips, the moment was broken by a key in the lock and the two of them froze.  
  
They heard light footsteps coming up the stairs; too light to be Angel's and they relaxed a little but tensed up again when they saw the doorknob turn.  
  
"Mommy! Mommy! I'm not feeling very well so I had to..." Ella trailed off and her eyes widened when she saw Buffy and Spike in bed together, Buffy closed her eyes and opened them again, she looked up at Spike who was just staring at the youngster, they both knew that there was no way to get out of it-they had been well and truly caught.  
  
Buffy started to say something but was cut off when she heard heavier footsteps come up the stairs and Joyce come into the bedroom, she covered her mouth with her hand when she saw the scene and hurried Ella out. Buffy and Spike heard her putting Ella to bed before she came back in.  
  
"Well I hope you're happy with yourselves because I know I'm not and I definitely know that Angel won't be when Ella tells him about what she saw" she was extremely angry and neither Buffy or Spike knew what to say so they just continued staring at her,  
  
"How could you be so stupid?" she continued, "actually having an affair in the first place is already unacceptable in my eyes but having sex, in the bed that you share with Angel..." she trailed off looking at Buffy angrily,  
  
"I just feel sorry for poor Ella..." she said "...I really think that you are both going to have to talk to her about this and just pray that she doesn't say anything to your husband" she looked across at Spike,  
  
"And you..." her eyes were cold and dark with disgust, "...I just don't think that you realise just how much damage you have done. She is a married woman!" Joyce's voice was raised a lot now and whatever sympathy she had for the couple was now gone, replaced by anger and disgust towards the both of them.  
  
"We can't help falling in love you know" Spike said, his voice shaking slightly,  
  
"DON'T TALK TO ME!" Joyce screamed and Spike was taken aback by just how much rage could be bottled up inside one person.  
  
"You are both the lowest of the low; I don't want anything to do with either of you! I am taking Ella back to my house with me and you are both going to get out of this house, I don't want to see either of you again!"  
  
"But..." Buffy started,  
  
"GET OUT!" Joyce screamed, and they both jumped when she slammed the door, they heard her get Ella out of bed and Joyce came in again, carrying Ella in her arms, "no more lies" she said quietly before going downstairs, Buffy waited until she heard the front door slam before bursting into tears. Spike just held her in his arms,  
  
"Shh..." he cooed, "It's going to be alright, you don't really have to move out..."  
  
"Yes I do" Buffy said between sobs, "I can't live a lie anymore, I want to be with you, not Angel and definitely not the both of you...I'm leaving him tonight, he'll find out the truth when he gets back tomorrow"  
  
Spike pulled away from her and looked into her eyes, "Buffy, are you sure?" she nodded,  
  
"Yes, I love you so much" she said and she fell into his arms again, he placed a kiss on the top of her head,  
  
"I love you too"  
  
Buffy dropped her suitcases onto the floor of the apartment that now belonged to her as well as Spike. He followed her in, carrying the remaining of her belongings. "Just put them down there" she said, "I'll unpack tomorrow" she went to sit on the sofa and he followed her, they snuggled up together. Suddenly she began to cry again.  
  
"What's wrong luv?" he asked,  
  
"What if Angel hurts you?" she said, "Or worse... I don't know what I'd do without you"  
  
"It's alright luv... don't worry, we've got so many other things to think about without him ruining our lives, like this for example" he patted her tummy and she put her hand over his,  
  
"Our baby" she said.  
  
Angel opened the door to the house.  
  
"Buffy?" he called, no answer,  
  
"Buffy?" he called again, still nothing, "Oh not again..." he prayed but stopped when he noticed a note stuck to the fridge, opening it, he felt rage bubble inside him as he read:  
  
Dear Angel,  
I have decided to leave you. When the barmaid said that she saw me leaving the bar with another man she was telling the truth, that is the man that I have been having an affair with and fallen in love with in the last two weeks. I am also pregnant with his baby. Do not try and contact me or him as I do not want anything more to do with you: I don't love you anymore. Please don't make this harder then it already is. Give my love to Ella- she is at my mom's house. I am so sorry but I have made my decision, do not try and change it.  
  
Buffy.  
  
Angel let out a roar as he tore up the note and threw it across the room. Not pausing to think, he put his coat on and stormed out to his car, he wasn't going to let anyone take Buffy away from him. Suddenly thinking of an idea, he ran back into the kitchen and took out a knife from the draw- this man had taken away something of his, and he was going to pay dearly for it.  
  
Buffy was the first to wake up by the sound of banging on the door, she froze when she heard the furious tone of Angel's voice,  
  
"Come on, I know you're in there...why don't you come out and face me like a man? You think you can just take away my wife like that and not pay? Huh?"  
  
Buffy looked over at Spike who was now also awake, she gasped as she saw him get out of bed and pull his clothes on.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked,  
  
"If I need to fight him to keep you...then that's what I'll do" he pulled her in for a kiss before running to the door and opening it, Buffy stayed in the bedroom, not wanting to watch.  
  
"There's nothing you can do about it! Buffy loves me! She doesn't love you anymore and I thought that she made it quite clear in the note not to try and change her mind!" she heard Spike yell between punches,  
  
"I'm not trying to change her mind, I'm just doing to you what you deserve- you've destroyed my family and you need to pay!" Angel replied furiously.  
  
At first Buffy heard a few punches, then her heart almost stopped when she heard a scream and the sound of somebody running away, she ran out immediately and gasped when she saw Spike lead on the floor, clutching at his side, she could see blood seeping through his fingers.  
  
"Oh my God!" she gasped and ran up to him, he was barely conscious but spoke to her anyway,  
  
"Buffy" he said,  
  
"I'm here baby" she cooed, she grabbed a phone from the counter and dialled 911.  
  
"I love you" he said before his eyes closed.  
  
Angel into the bar and stormed straight up to the cheery barmaid, she looked over at him and smiled,  
  
"Can I help you Angel?" she asked seductively,  
  
"What's your name?" he asked her, leaning closer to her,  
  
"Chantelle"  
  
Angel grabbed her hand and pulled her into the car park where he pinned her against his car and proceeded to kissing her neck. She gasped as his hands slid up her exposed thigh and under her tiny leather mini skirt but didn't pull away, she had had her beady eye on him for a while now and now that he had come to her she wasn't going to waste the opportunity but she had to know,  
  
"What about Buffy?" she managed to pant out as she fiddled with his belt buckle,  
  
"Left me" he said,  
  
"Awww...poor baby" she cooed and felt his throbbing cock with her light hands, this was going to be a great night...  
  
Buffy sat in the hospital waiting room anxiously. It had been over an hour since they had brought Spike in and she still hadn't heard any news, she leaped up quickly when a doctor approached her.  
  
"Mrs. Summers?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Your boyfriend is going to be fine, he has lost a lot of blood and will have to stay here or a couple of nights but all in all he should make quite a quick and complete recovery" Buffy felt her whole body calm down, for a while she had actually thought that she was going to lose him.  
  
"Can I see him?" she asked,  
  
"Yes, follow me" Buffy followed the doctor lead as he led her down a long corridor and opened a door to her left.  
  
He was sat up in the hospital bed with a scowl on his face but he brightened up when he saw Buffy,  
  
"Hey" she said and kissed him softly, careful not to lean on his injury,  
  
"Hey" he said back to her,  
  
"I'm so sorry" she said collapsing into his arms, "I never should have left him a note, I should have just gone, then you wouldn't be here"  
  
"No, it wasn't your fault, it was me. I shouldn't have gone to fight him" he said and she looked up at him and kissed him again,  
  
"For a while back there I actually thought I'd lost you" she said holding back unshed tears,  
  
"Well you didn't did you? I'm right here and I can go home in a couple of days"  
  
Please review, lots of love,  
Brittany  
xxx 


	7. Bad Behavior

Joyce sat in her living room sipping coffee and watching Ella play with one of her Barbie dolls, it was a shame, Ella was such a kind, happy, lovable little girl with many qualities and her family had been torn apart. Joyce sighed; this was the kind of stuff that affected kids mentally.  
  
"Joyce?" Ella looked up and Joyce smiled down at her,  
  
"Who was that man who was in bed with mommy?" Joyce felt overwhelmed with pity for her granddaughter but knew that there was already far too much lies to keep track of so decided to tell the truth,  
  
"Ella, when I tell you this, you must remember that you're Daddy and I love you and we will both always be there for you, do you understand?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"That man was your mommy's boyfriend, she doesn't love your Daddy anymore but loves him, and she won't be around anymore" Joyce watched as pain and sadness filled the eyes of the little girl in front of her, the pain finally reached its peak, and Ella burst into tears.  
  
Buffy and Spike were snuggled up on the sofa together watching T.V, drinking hot chocolate and eating chocolate chip cookies. Buffy was surprised at how Spike could be so cute and lovable but so fucking hot at the same time.  
  
She turned off the T.V and took his hand; they looked into each other's eyes before she spoke,  
  
"Spike" she whispered,  
  
"Yes Luv"  
  
"Will you promise me something?"  
  
"Anything"  
  
"Promise me that you'll never leave me just like everyone else has, I love you so much...I couldn't bear to lose you"  
  
"I love you too much to leave you" he leaned down to kiss her softly and they broke apart, looking at each other with so much love and passion, Buffy thought that they were going to burn up in flames.  
  
Angel lead in his bed, although Buffy had left him, he still felt that he had cheated on her with Chantelle. He thought of Spike; he had never held so much hatred for one person before in his whole life, they were probably in his apartment now, making love. Oh how he wished that the knife attack had killed him, it would have made everything much simpler, Buffy would have been upset and Angel would have just swooped in like the knight in armour that she never had.  
  
But he had survived, and that angered Angel to no end.  
  
"Okay I've just made the appointment; four O clock tomorrow" Buffy said, putting the phone down and sitting back on the sofa with Spike,  
  
"will we be able to know it's sex yet?" Spike asked,  
  
"I dunno, but isn't this exciting, we're gonna see our baby on the sonogram!"  
  
"Buffy" Spike said and Buffy was a little taken aback by the serious tone in his voice,  
  
"What?"  
  
"I know we've got a lot to look forward to but..." Spike hesitated,  
  
"But what?" Buffy said, leaning closer to him,  
  
"You're mother, you're daughter...does it bother you that if you don't do something soon you're probably never gonna see them again"  
  
"I...I guess so but they'll come round, I mean I have arguments like this all the time with my mom and we always make up later on..." Spike nodded,  
  
"So tomorrow we're actually gonna see our baby for the first time" he said, changing the subject,  
  
"Yeah" excited as she was about her second child, her first child held a special place in her heart and without her, there was a gap that needed filling.  
  
Joyce looked lovingly down at the sleeping five year old in her arms. After about forty minutes of none stop crying, Ella had fallen asleep and Joyce's heart melted for her granddaughter. She looked over at her phone on the table next to the sofa, all it would take was a single phone call and she could at least try and settle things with Buffy. Although Buffy had angered her, she was still her daughter and it would make Ella so much happier knowing that her mom was going to be around again.  
  
She gently lifted Ella up to let herself stand up and then put her back sown on the sofa again. Joyce picked up the phone and looked at her watch- it was a couple of minutes past ten so Buffy should still be up.  
  
Buffy smiled as she looked up at Spike's sleeping form, he had nodded off whilst they had been snuggling on the sofa. She placed a very light kiss on his lips and buried her head in his bare chest, she was just closing her eyes when the phone rang,  
  
"Hello?" she answered,  
  
"Hello Buffy" she heard her mom's voice on the line,  
  
"Mom! What do you want? I thought you made it quite clear that you didn't want anything to do with me anymore"  
  
"I know, honey I'm so sorry about the way I acted before. I just want to let you know that Ella misses you...please come home" Buffy softened slightly at her mother's kind apology but looked over at Spike- she wanted to be with him and if that meant leaving her family then, God help her, so be it.  
  
"I can't" she said, "mom listen to me. I love you and Ella so much and I'll still see you frequently but I'm with Spike now and I'm not coming home" she heard her mother take a deep breath on the other end of the phone,  
  
"are you sure?" Joyce asked her,  
  
"Yeah" there was a long, uncomfortable silence until Buffy shelved her pride and spoke up,  
  
"Mom I need your help...I don't know what to do. I mean, I want to see Ella but I also want to stay with Spike and have his baby but I know that Angel will want to carry on seeing Ella, which is understandable" Joyce smiled when she heard Buffy ask for her help,  
  
"Alright, I'll tell you what- Ella can stay at my house tonight, Angel knows where she is, and you and Spike can come round to my house tomorrow morning and we'll discuss it then, okay?"  
  
"Okay, thank you mom, so much, I love you bye"  
  
"Bye sweetheart" Buffy hung up the phone and looked over to see that Spike was awake,  
  
"So, we're going round to your mother's house tomorrow?" he asked her as she sat down next to him and he put his arms around her,  
  
"Yeah, is that okay?"  
  
"It's fine, somehow I don't think that Ella will be too pleased to see me though"  
  
"Well she'll have to get used to it because if she wants to see me then she'll have to see you too" Buffy said, leaning up and kissing him softly.  
  
Angel woke up and looked over at the clock- it was nine O clock in the morning.  
  
"Better get up" he said to himself, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt, he wanted to see Ella, she could always make him smile when he was depressed.  
  
Buffy rang the doorbell to Joyce's house twice before she answered it, smiling a little too enthusiastically, she let Buffy and Spike inside.  
  
Ella was drawing pictures in the kitchen and Joyce guided them into the living room, she wasn't really sure about Ella meeting Spike properly yet. Closing the door, she sat on an armchair opposite Spike and Buffy, who were sat a little too closely for her liking on the sofa.  
  
"So, we have a difficult situation here don't we?" she said and the too lovers nodded,  
  
Just as she was about to offer the couple advice, she heard the doorbell ring again, "Excuse me for a second" she said, going up to answer the door. As soon as she opened it, Angel stormed in,  
  
"Where's Ella?" he asked, "I want to see my little girl..." he looked into the living room and saw Buffy and Spike sat there, his rage built up inside him as he saw the one person he wished death upon. He couldn't take it anymore, forgetting about Joyce, he walked in and grabbed Spike by the collar, forcing him to stand up.  
  
"Angel no!" Buffy yelled at her husband but gasped as Angel's fist made contact with Spike's nose very quickly, she shrieked as Spike punched him back in the same spot, a sickening crack sound filling the room and Angel stood there, clutching his broken face. Buffy watched in horror as he picked Spike up with ease and threw him across the room and into the fireplace. It took a few seconds before Spike got up again but he wasted no time punching Angel again, another crack sound was heard before Joyce finally got in the middle of the two and pulled them apart, pointing them to sit down- Spike on the sofa next to Buffy and Angel on the armchair where she was sat before.  
  
"I am extremely displeased with the both of you; brawling like animals and ruining my fireplace in the process!" Joyce yelled and the two men looked down at the floor, nodding in agreement with her,  
  
"Just who do you think you are? Hmm? My daughter is pregnant as she does not need the stress that you two are causing her!" Buffy looked at both Angel and Spike; Spike had a black eye and Angel's nose was bleeding.  
  
"I think you two should go" Joyce said softly, "I think I need to have a serious talk with Angel, we'll talk another time"  
  
Buffy and Spike said goodbye to Joyce and walked out of the front door holding hands, Angel's eyes narrowed.  
  
As soon as she heard Spike's car drive away Joyce began talking to Angel,  
  
"She loves him" she said and Angel clenched his jaw, "Angel you have to understand that she didn't mean to hurt you but..."  
  
"She didn't mean to hurt me?" Angel butted in, "What did she expect me to feel? Did she think that I'd be happy for the two of them? Overjoyed that the child I once thought was mine is actually his?"  
  
"Angel," Joyce said softly and he calmed a little, "It just happened, she didn't mean to fall in love with him but she did. Do you really think that fighting with him is going to make her leave him and come back to you?"  
  
"No" Angel said sadly, "It won't"  
  
"Honey are you sure you're okay?" Buffy asked Spike as she shut the door to the apartment,  
  
"I'm fine" he said, getting a beer out of the fridge, "you want something to drink?" he said, opening it,  
  
"I know I really shouldn't because of the baby but I could really do with a glass or two of wine"  
  
"Coming right up" he said, taking a bottle of red wine out of a wine rack and pouring a glass, he took the bottle and the wine and put them on the table in front of were Buffy was now sat on the sofa and sat next to her with his beer in his hand.  
  
She took the glass and sipped, "Mmmmm, this is great wine" she said turning the bottle around so that she could see the label,  
  
She took another sip and turned to face Spike,  
  
"What time is it?" she asked and Spike looked at his watch,  
  
"Just gone noon" he said smiling as he looked at the glass Buffy was holding, "I've gotta say, I've never had a woman who drinks this early,"  
  
"Yeah well, this is a one off...what with you and Angel I think I need one"  
  
"Just don't drink too much; you don't want to be drunk when we go to the appointment at four"  
  
She slapped him playfully on the arm before putting the glass down next to the bottle, she took the beer out of his hand and put it on the table and snuggled up next to him,  
  
"I understand why Angel was mad and everything, but behaving like that, and with Ella in the next room..." Spike felt her tension and started massaging her back, making her moan.  
  
"I just don't understand it; he's never been a particularly violent person"  
  
"I know luv...I know, it's just, love makes you do stupid things" Buffy sighed, she had to ask...  
  
"Spike, do you think it was right of me to leave Ella like that?"  
  
"Do you want my honest opinion?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"No, Buffy. I know Ella probably hates me right now, but if...never mind"  
  
"But if what?"  
  
"Well...I was thinking maybe Ella could come here for a little while, I like that kid. I think she's dealt with everything in a really mature way, how old is she? Eight? Nine?"  
  
"Five" Buffy said,  
  
"Five?! Wow! If this had happened to me when I was five I would have..." Spike stopped talking when he saw the look on Buffy's face and continued,  
  
"I think that maybe she could come and stay here with us for a little while. She's gonna be seeing a lot more of us together and I think that she should get used to it"  
  
"You really think so?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Okay, but I don't think it's gonna be easy convincing Angel or my mom"  
  
"I know, but she's your daughter Buffy. She's part of you, fight for her" Buffy looked into Spike's eyes and nodded,  
  
"Okay, I will" Spike looked at his watch,  
  
"Come on Buffy, we gotta go to our appointment"  
  
Please review, love,  
Brittany  
xxx 


	8. Arguments

Hey everyone. Again I can't think of anything to say so just read the story...  
  
Chapter Eight: Arguments  
  
Buffy lay awake in her and Spike's bed. They had come back from the appointment and had had some drinks to celebrate and Buffy was annoyed that once again she had got drunk whilst he had stayed reasonably sober. The effects of the wine had began to wear off now and she was left with worry about the baby, she hadn't meant to drink quite that much.  
  
Okay Buffy thought, no more alcohol until the baby is born she took a deep breath, she didn't have an alcohol problem, she just liked a drink now and again, and with everything that had happened lately, she thought that she deserved it.  
  
She looked across at Spike and felt happier, just as she always did when she saw him. He looked so cute when he was asleep that she just wanted to kiss him all over, well, more than usual. She put her hand on her stomach and smiled again, but the smile faded when she thought of what sort of life the child would have, knowing that she was an accidental result of an affair that became more.  
  
Buffy's thoughts wandered to what had been lingering in her mind for a couple of days now, marriage. She would give anything for Spike to be known to everyone as her husband, instead of Buffy's bit on the side. She wondered if she was crazy, they had known each other for like what? A week? And already she was living with him, pregnant with his baby, and wondering about marrying him. She knew that Angel would have told all of their friends about the whole thing, and that they would look down their noses at her from now on, but she didn't care, if that's what she had to sacrifice to be with Spike then so be it.  
  
Her thoughts then wandered to Ella. Buffy hadn't thought about her since before the appointment and she felt overwhelmed with guilt. The idea of Ella moving in with her and Spike had grown considerably on her but she was worried about how she would react to it. Would she even want to live with them? How long for? Her bind boggled with questions before she decided to wake Spike up, she looked over at the clock, it read 6:48. It wasn't too early.  
  
"Spike" she whispered, shaking him,  
  
"Yeah?" he answered sleepily, not opening his eyes.  
  
"I need to talk to you"  
  
"What about?" he asked, still half asleep  
  
"Ella" she said and he opened his eyes and took a deep breath and let it out again,  
  
"Go on"  
  
"Spike, I still wanna see her but I still need to be with you but Angel..."  
  
She noticed that he was clenching his jaw at the mention of her husband's name and put her hand on his arm,  
  
"What are we gonna do? I mean I do want Ella to live with us but what if she doesn't want to? And somehow I don't think that Angel is gonna be too happy about it"  
  
"We'll figure something out. You're her mother, you have rights"  
  
"I know I do but Angel has rights too"  
  
"Do you really think he's stable enough to look after her? He ended up giving me a black eye"  
  
"Ella is his daughter, he wouldn't hurt her"  
  
"Are you sure? People do stupid things when they're angry"  
  
Buffy breathed in and let it out for a moment, Spike was right, Angel got very angry sometimes and she shuddered at the thought of Ella living in the house alone with him.  
  
"You're right," she said, "but we can't just take her, my mom will help us out"  
  
Joyce was making herself a sandwich when the phone rang, she sighed it should be illegal for people to ring at lunchtime she thought but answered the phone anyway, she was surprised to hear Buffy's voice on the other end of the phone,  
  
"Hi mom, I'm sorry if I interrupted you while you were having lunch. I know how much you hate that"  
  
"It's alright sweetheart. How are things with Spike?"  
  
"You mean 'are we still together?' yes mom, sorry to disappoint you. I was actually wondering if I could come and talk to you when I get home from work- it's kinda important"  
  
"What time do you get home?"  
  
"Seven"  
  
"Alright. Just come round when you want to, you know I'm always here for you. Will Spike be coming?"  
  
"No. I think this should just be a mother and daughter talk- no men involved"  
  
"Okay. See you later then bye"  
  
"Bye mom"  
  
Buffy hung up her mobile phone and carried on driving, Mental note number two, she thought, Stop talking on your mobile whilst driving, it's dangerous  
  
She pulled into her parking space and took a deep breath as she got out of the car; this was the first time she had gone to work since she had met Spike. What would all her friends say? Assuming they knew about everything.  
  
"Hi Buffy" her friend Cordelia said as she walked through the door, "I'm sorry about your marriage but I can't wait to meet this other guy, Spike is it?"  
  
"Yeah," Buffy said, trust Cordelia to want to meet Spike so badly, she was probably working out a way to steal him right this minute,  
  
"So..." Cordelia said, closing the door to Buffy's office and sitting on the desk next to the computer, "I wanna know all the details, let's start with how you met him and we'll talk about the sex later,"  
  
Ella sat at the table eating her lunch opposite Angel. She watched sadly as he just sat there with his head in his hands, he was destroyed and although she was only five, Ella knew the reason why.  
  
"Daddy?" she asked and he looked up at her, she noticed that his eyes and cheeks were wet with tears,  
  
"What?"  
  
"I miss mommy"  
  
"I know, so do I, but she's gone off to live with another horrible, nasty man who we don't want to see ever again"  
  
"Why is he nasty?"  
  
"Because he's the one that has destroyed your family and taken your mom away. He nearly broke my nose too" Angel left out the bit about him punching Spike first and how Buffy was living with him willingly.  
  
"Oh dear. Why don't you try and get mommy back? I want to see her"  
  
"I've tried to get her back but I can't"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I JUST CAN'T OKAY?!" Angel yelled, frightening Ella and making her start to cry,  
  
"Oh shut up and pull yourself together"  
  
"But...I...want...mommy...back" she said in between sobs,  
  
"STOP FUCKING CRYING!" Angel yelled again, but this time standing up and frightening Ella even more,  
  
"If...you...acted...like...this...around...mommy then...no...wonder she...left you"  
  
This was too much for Angel and before he had time to think he hit Ella around the face, causing her nose to start bleeding,  
  
"Oh God Ella..." he calmed down and knelt beside her, she looked at him with disgust before running out of the house,  
  
Buffy walked into the apartment and put her work bag on the kitchen counter, she had just had a long talk with her mom about Ella and had ended up having another argument,  
  
"Spike?" she called and he came out of the bedroom with a serious and worried look on his face; he held the phone in one hand and his leather duster in the other,  
  
"Did Angel call you?" he asked, putting the duster on and the phone down,  
  
"No. What's going on?"  
  
"It's Ella" he said and Buffy began to feel terribly sick, what had happened to her little girl?  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"She's missing"  
  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, sorry their wasn't much spuffy in it but it was supposed to focus a lot around how everything was affecting Angel and Ella. Please Review, love,  
Brittany,  
xxx 


	9. Ex Lovers

Hey everyone. Thank you again for all the lovely reviews, I really enjoy reading them! This chapter and maybe the next one will focus mainly on Angel because I felt that the story was getting a little bit dull with the whole Ella thing. Don't worry, Ella will be in the chapters but it won't be such a big issue anymore. I hope you enjoy drama (If you don't then why are you reading this?) cause there's gonna be a LOT more of it in the next few chapters...  
  
Chapter Nine: Ex-Lovers  
  
"Ella!" Buffy called as she roamed through the park looking for her daughter. It was extremely dark and Buffy was worried that her little girl could be in danger, or worse.  
  
The four of them had split up; Buffy had gone to the park, Joyce had gone driving around Ella's friend's houses, Spike was looking for her on the streets and Angel was staying near the house in case she came home again.  
  
Buffy looked at her watch, it was almost eleven O clock. Her pace quickened as a cruel breeze tickled her tanned skin and she regretted not bringing a coat with her but right now, Ella was her top priority.  
  
Angel paced the kitchen. Just two hours ago Ella was safe at home with him, why? Why did he hit her? A loud beeping coming from his pocket tore him from his thoughts and he took out his cell phone and felt his whole body calm down as he read the message but tensed up again as he read on. The message read;  
  
Ella has been found at Chloe's house no thanks to you. She told me what happened and I think you and I need to have a talk. Joyce.  
  
Buffy stormed back to her house. The fury that she felt was almost blinding her, how could Angel hurt Ella? Spike was right, he couldn't be trusted.  
  
When she arrived at the house, everyone was there and, surprisingly enough, not arguing. She saw a look of disgust be fired from Spike to Angel but at least no one was fighting, which, Buffy thought, was a plus.  
  
"Where is she?" she asked when she came in, the three of them looked up before Joyce answered,  
  
"In bed, she was very tired. I'm not surprised; Chloe's house is a good few miles away from here."  
  
"Oh" Buffy said and looked at Angel, she took a deep breath.  
  
"Mom, Spike. Could I have a word with Angel alone please?"  
  
"Sure" Joyce and Spike walked into the kitchen, leaving the two ex lovers alone.  
  
"Buffy..." Angel began, "...I'm so sorry"  
  
"It's not me you should be apologising to; it was Ella you hit, not me"  
  
"Buffy..." he said again but she continued,  
  
"I am sorry about what happened, but I'm not coming back to you. It's over Angel. We're finished, you need to accept that"  
  
"But we are so good together"  
  
"I know. But I love Spike now. He and Ella are the two most precious things in my life"  
  
"I used to be one of the most precious things in your life"  
  
"But you're not anymore. Angel I'm not saying I don't feel guilty. Okay, I wake up every morning thinking about what a terrible person I've been but I look at Spike and I feel better"  
  
"What are we gonna do about our daughter?"  
  
"Angel, I'm gonna ask you something and you're not gonna like it but I feel that it's the right thing to do..."  
  
"Go on"  
  
"I want Ella to live with me and Spike for a while"  
  
"What? You're right- I don't like it. You really think I'm just gonna let you not only brake my heart, but take my daughter away from me as well? And..."  
  
"I'm not taking her away from you. I just don't think that you're stable enough to look after her right now and she needs her mother, you can still see her" Angel softened and tried to take Buffy's hand in his but she pulled away,  
  
"Don't Angel" she said, "I want a simple yes or no"  
  
"I am fully stable to look after Ella,"  
  
"You weren't tonight. Angel I'm not doing this for me I'm doing this for Ella, I'm worried that you might hurt her again"  
  
"I love her"  
  
"I know you do, but I just think you need some time to be alone and you can still see her, I'm not gonna take that away from you. You are her Dad after all"  
  
"No" Angel said and Buffy opened her mouth to protest but was silenced when he continued, "I don't want Ella anywhere near that shit head that you call a boyfriend- I don't trust him"  
  
"I do. Angel, I know you'll always hate him for what happened but you have to understand that he's not a bad person!"  
  
"Yes he is. He destroyed my family, stole my wife and you're telling me he's not a bad person? Buffy, I understand what you see in him, I do; posh apartment, good looks, he swept you off your feet and you fell for him. I swear to God Buffy, he's gonna destroy you. He's gonna destroy you just like he's destroyed me and Ella"  
  
"I don't believe you" Buffy said, shaking with anger, "You have no right to talk about him that way! You don't even know him"  
  
"I know enough about him to know what he's capable of. Y'know what, don't bother coming round to see Ella, not as long as you're with him anyway! As long as you stay with him I'm gonna make sure that you have all your rights to see her taken away from you. Besides, what do you need Ella for when you've got this little brat" He shouted pointing to her belly,  
  
"You can't do that"  
  
"I'm her father!"  
  
"And I'm her mother! If anything I have more rights then you do"  
  
"I'll take it to court and tell them everything that you've done"  
  
"Oh yeah? Well I'm sure that you'll be very popular when I tell them about what happened tonight"  
  
Angel looked at Buffy. He saw the anger and even a hint of hatred in her eyes and a murderous rage swept through him, how could he have not seen it before? The first time that he had stabbed Spike it was all because of anger but now Angel could see everything clearly.  
  
Angel thought the whole thing through after everyone had gone home. If he bumped Spike off the scene then all of the whole trauma would be over. If Buffy didn't know he was guilty, surely she would leap back into his arms and him, her and Ella would be a happy family again, just as they had been before Buffy went out for that drink.  
  
He grinned at the satisfaction of imagining Spike's dead body on the floor. He wouldn't do it tonight; he would get the two lovers to trust him before he murdered him.  
  
"Oh well" he thought "Better start making up with them"  
  
"So then..." Buffy said, taking off her leather jacket and folding it over the back of the sofa, "...he says how great me and him are together and how he used to be one of the most precious things in my life"  
  
Spike laughed, "What'd you say?"  
  
"I said that he is no longer one of the most precious things in my life," she paused and looked into his eyes, "he's been replaced"  
  
Spike walked up to her and kissed her lovingly. She quickly responded and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His kisses lowered to her collarbone just as they heard a knock on the door.  
  
Spike broke the kiss and rolled hiss eyes as he went to open it, his face hardened when he saw who it was.  
  
"Angel" he said as if the word made his feel sick, Buffy came up behind him, giving her husband a look of disgust.  
  
"What do you want?" she asked coldly,  
  
"I don't want to fight" he said,  
  
"That makes a change" Spike said causing Angel to glare at him before resuming his calm expression,  
  
"I want to talk to you both. Can I come in?"  
  
Buffy and Spike looked at each other before walking towards the sofa and sitting on it, Angel followed, closing the door behind him.  
  
"I came to apologise" he said, receiving raised eyebrows from Buffy and a smirk from Spike,  
  
"I don't think that I have been acting in the way that I should be to everything that has happened. You're in love and I understand that nothing I can do will change that" Angel continued  
  
"What made you realise?" Buffy asked,  
  
"You" he answered, "Nothing anyone can ever do will be able to change the way I feel about you and I assume that you two feel the same way about each other"  
  
"We do" Buffy said, "Thank you Angel. You have no idea how much this helps us"  
  
"Also" Angel continued, "I am willing to let Ella come and stay with you for a while, just until you feel that I am stable enough to look after her again"  
  
"Oh Angel thank you so much!" Buffy smiled happily and looked across at Spike, "See? I Knew he'd come around in the end"  
  
Spike knew that this was a lie but decided not to argue so just nodded instead.  
  
Super, Angel thought, maybe I can do it sooner then I planned to.  
  
Please review, all my love,  
Brittany  
xxx 


	10. An unexpected offer

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the great reviews I got for my story. I can't believe I've got to the tenth chapter without being flamed! (I bet someone flames me now because I've said that) Anyway, my beta reader is going to England for a couple of months so I can't get in touch with her. Any volunteers for a replacement?  
  
Chapter Ten: An unexpected offer  
  
"Mommy?" Ella asked as she and Buffy were unpacking her clothes from her suitcase. It had been a day since Angel had agreed to let Ella stay with Buffy and Spike and although she had been a bit a little bit reluctant at first, Ella had agreed to give it a try,  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Daddy said that the man who lives in this house with you is nasty. I don't want to live with a nasty man." Buffy stopped unpacking and looked at her daughter. She knew that Angel would say stuff about Spike but she never even thought that he would mention him to Ella; she would have a word with him about it later,  
  
"Spike isn't nasty" she said, "Your Daddy didn't mean what he said about him. He was just angry. I think that you will like Spike"  
  
"Really? Mommy, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"What are you going to call the baby?"  
  
Spike hated the mall. It was always full of annoying teenagers, hanging around and thinking they were the highest form of humanity because they knew fashion. Spike didn't care about fashion, his tight jeans, T- shirt and long leather jacket had been his look for years now and he had no desire to change it and although his bleached blonde hair often turned heads, he liked being noticed, so had no desire to change that either.  
  
It was Buffy's birthday in a few days and Spike wanted to buy her something special as it was her first birthday that he had been a part of, and he wanted to buy her something that she would love almost as much as him.  
  
Walking into the jewellery store he noticed about fifty beautiful engagement rings were on show behind a glass cabinet and Spike thought for a moment about proposing to her on her birthday but quickly shook off the thought. She was still married to that wanker Angel and while she was, he couldn't be her husband.  
  
Just below the engagement rings was another glass cabinet full of gorgeous necklaces. One of them immediately caught his eye, it was a small cross made almost completely of diamonds, held by a flimsy silver chain. Spike looked at the price of it and smiled, although Spike didn't have a job, his father had been an extremely rich senior partner in a law firm and had left all his wealth to his son when he died, so money had never been an issue for Spike.  
  
Buffy sighed as she put the last of Ella's clothes in the wardrobe of the spare room. The apartment was quiet and Buffy almost jumped out of her skin when she heard the key unlock the front door. She quickly relaxed when she saw Spike come inside and walked out of the room to kiss him,  
  
"Hey" she said to him, her arms still wrapped around his neck, she unwrapped them when he put the bags he was carrying onto the sofa,  
  
"Hey"  
  
"So what did you buy at the mall?"  
  
"Stuff" he said absent mindedly whilst taking off his leather duster and hanging it on the back of the door to the bathroom.  
  
"What stuff?" Buffy, asked, eyeing up the bags,  
  
"Birthday stuff" he said and Buffy smiled and decided to change the subject,  
  
"Ella's asleep in bed" she said, "I've just finished unpacking her stuff. She seemed to be quite keen to meet you"  
  
"Really? I thought she'd hate me"  
  
"Well she might be kinda shifty around you at first but I think she'll like you"  
  
"I hope so" There was a comfortable silence before Buffy spoke up again,  
  
"While we were unpacking today, Ella and I talked about something"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Our baby"  
  
"What did you say about it?"  
  
"Well we were talking about you and then Ella asked me what we were going to call it. We came up with some suggestions"  
  
"What did you come up with?"  
  
"Well, my grandmother was called Sophie and I thought that if it's a girl..."  
  
"Buffy luv I don't mean to be horrible but that is an awful name"  
  
"Okay well what do you think we should call it?"  
  
"How about...Jessica if it's a girl"  
  
"No, how about Jerrod if it's a boy"  
  
"Sweetheart as kind as your intensions may be I am not having a son called Jerrod. How about David?"  
  
"No. Harmony if it's a girl"  
  
"I had a girlfriend called Harmony once and I am not naming my child after her. How about Louise for a girl?"  
  
"Louise" Buffy repeated, "I like that"  
  
"My sister, she was called Louise. She died when she was six"  
  
"I'm sorry"  
  
"It's okay. I was only about two when it happened so I don't remember her much"  
  
"I suppose that's better then"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"What if it's a boy?"  
  
"Err...how about Joshua"  
  
"No. I have an uncle called that, I don't like him. How about James?"  
  
"Huh. That's nice, is it named after anyone?"  
  
"No. I just like the name"  
  
"Yeah, so James if it's a boy. Louise if it's a girl"  
  
"Perfect," Buffy walked up to Spike and kissed him softly, before either of them had time to think, the kiss had deepened and they had fallen onto the sofa and had pushed the bags onto the floor. The moment was broken by a knock on the door.  
  
"I'll get it" Buffy said, kissing Spike lightly on the nose she scrambled up and answered the door, she was surprised to see Angel stood there with his arm draped around Chantelle, the barmaid bimbo.  
  
"Angel" she said, looking over at Spike, "Oh look it's ANGEL"  
  
Spike got the message and went up to stand beside Buffy, who was stood with her eyebrows raised,  
  
"What are you two doing here and together?" she asked and Angel was surprised that there wasn't even the tiniest hint of jealousy in her voice,  
  
"Well, Chantelle and I are going out to dinner and we were wondering if you two would like to come with us, so we can y'know bond"  
  
Buffy and Spike were both a little bit suspicious about Angel's offer but neither of them said anything to show it,  
  
"Okay" Buffy said, "But you'll have to give us an hour to get ready and see if my mom can baby sit Ella again"  
  
"Sure, our reservations are in about forty minutes so Chantelle and I can meet you at the restaurant. It's "Andre's" down the street"  
  
"Okay" Angel and Chantelle walked off and Spike slammed the door behind them,  
  
"You're not actually expecting us to go are you?" he said and Buffy sighed,  
  
"Yes I am. Listen, I think that getting along with Angel is really important for us. He's Ella's dad and if we don't get along with him..."  
  
"I know I'm sorry but don't you think it's a little late for dinner I mean, it's half past nine and if the reservations are for ten past ten"  
  
"I guess but let's go anyway. I'm just gonna ring my mom to see if she can baby sit Ella and then I'm gonna get ready okay?"  
  
"Okay"  
  
Angel and Chantelle sat in the restaurant in silence. It was starting to get a little bit embarrassing before Chantelle spoke up,  
  
"So how exactly are you planning on killing the guy? I mean, wouldn't it just be tiny bit suspicious if you just took him away for a little bit and neither of you came back? And it wouldn't take anybody long to figure out who did it"  
  
"Look, Chantelle I know what I'm doing Okay? Just leave it to me"  
  
"Fine. They're here now anyway, my God he's hot!" Chantelle noticed the annoyed look that played across Angel's feature when she said this and decided to stay quiet when the two of them sat down,  
  
"Hi Angel. Chantelle" Buffy said sternly, noticing the narrowing of eyes that was going on between her three companions,  
  
"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom" Angel said, standing up and walking to the men's bathroom, as soon as he was inside he took a pistol out of his jacket and waited. If all went to plan, Spike would be a dead man by the end of the night.  
  
"So what would you like to drink?" the waiter asked the three remaining people at the table,  
  
"Oh I'll have a white wine please" Chantelle said smiling,  
  
"Just a diet cola," Buffy said and noticed that the other two were giving her funny looks, "The baby" she said and they relaxed,  
  
"Just a beer please" Spike said and the waiter smiled and walked off,  
  
"How long has Angel been in the bathroom?" Chantelle asked,  
  
"About twenty minutes, Spike will you go into the bathroom and check if Angel's okay?"  
  
"Yeah whatever" Spike rolled his eyes as he got up from the table and the two women watched as he walked away before talking,  
  
"You're lucky" Chantelle said, "He's gorgeous"  
  
"Isn't he? When I first saw him I thought I was gonna faint"  
  
"Well Angel's hot too. Just not as hot as Spike"  
  
"I know. How are things going with you two by the way?"  
  
"Great. Well, we've only just started dating but its fun"  
  
"Well I hope you too are very happy together, I really do. I think that he deserves to find someone just like I found Spike. Y'know I think that..."  
  
She was cut off by the sound of a single gun shot coming from the bathroom.  
  
I know I know! Cliff hanger, every story needs them! Please Review, Lots of Love,  
Brittany  
xxx 


	11. Support

Okay I gotta admit, I was close to tears while I was writing this chapter but I'm really soft...  
  
Chapter Eleven: Support  
  
Buffy numbly unlocked the door to the apartment and smiled weakly when she saw her mom's sleeping form on the sofa. The T.V was still on down low and her mom's light snores could be heard over the top.  
  
"Mom" Buffy gently shook Joyce to wake her and was answered by a yawn before she opened her eyes,  
  
"What time is it?" Joyce asked,  
  
"Late" Buffy said and she could feel fresh tears streaming down her face,  
  
"Oh honey what's the matter?" Joyce asked softly and Buffy came and sat on the sofa beside her mother,  
  
"Angel" she replied weakly, "He...he shot Spike"  
  
"He did what?"  
  
"He shot Spike. This isn't the first time he's tried to kill him, he...he stabbed him earlier this week when he found out I'd left him, I should have told you"  
  
"Is Spike going to be okay?"  
  
"I don't know mom. Angel shot him in the stomach...the restaurant owner called an ambulance... " Buffy trailed off when she began to sob uncontrollably, Joyce automatically put her arms around her and rocked her gently,  
  
"It's okay Buffy. Spike will be alright you'll see"  
  
"How do you know that? He can't leave me now mom he can't!"  
  
"Hush now, he's in good hands...they won't let him die"  
  
"He's everything to me mom, if he died I just couldn't bare it I..."  
  
"I know I know...Shhh..."  
  
"I need to see him but I can't...he...he's in the operating theatre"  
  
"I'll tell you what, you try and get a good nights sleep tonight and tomorrow morning We'll both go down to the hospital and see Spike okay?"  
  
"Okay" Buffy whispered, wiping her eyes,  
  
Angel paced around his kitchen, they would be coming for him soon to arrest him for murder one, assuming of course that Spike had died.  
  
Angel hoped that Spike had died, he didn't care if he went to jail for the rest of his life just as long as Spike paid for what he did to Angel's family.  
  
He was interrupted from his thoughts by the loud doorbell ringing and he took a deep breath, this was it, he was going to be arrested for simply giving a man what he deserved. Angel was surprised to see Joyce stood in the doorway and let her in immediately, only to get a well overdue slap on the face.  
  
"I don't believe you!" she screamed, "My daughter is distraught because of your foolish actions!"  
  
"Spike deserved everything he got. If anything his death was a fucking blessing!"  
  
"Don't you dare!" Joyce screamed, making Angel get ready for another slap, "And we don't know if he's dead yet but I swear to God, if he is I will make sure that you go down for this, you are NOT going to get away with it!"  
  
"I don't care! He destroyed my family!"  
  
"Buffy is pregnant with his child! If Spike dies that child isn't gonna have a dad! Did you think about that before you shot him?" Suddenly Angel was overwhelmed with guilt. How could he have forgotten about that poor baby that Buffy was carrying? Sure, it was Spike's child but it wasn't the baby's fault that it was born in that situation. How could he have been so stupid?  
  
"No. I...I didn't" Joyce softened slightly and walked closer to her son in law.  
  
"I do understand how angry you must have been but do you really think that killing Spike is going to make things easier? If anything it's only going to make everything harder"  
  
"I wasn't thinking. Do you think I should go and see Buffy? Apologise?"  
  
"No. She really doesn't want to see you right now...Listen, she and I are going to see Spike tomorrow morning at about seven, we'll be staying for a while but I'll call you when we go home. I suggest that you go and see Spike then and apologise"  
  
"What if he's...?"  
  
"Dead? Then I suggest that you give yourself up to the police, it might clear your conscience a little bit"  
  
"Fine, oh God Buffy must hate me!"  
  
"She probably does, do you blame her?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Hello I'm Doctor Thomas. How may I help you?"  
  
"Hi I'm Joyce Summers and this is my daughter Buffy. We're here to see William Giles. He came in with a shot wound last night"  
  
"Yes of course. Mrs Summers, can I have a word with you in private please?"  
  
"Sure. Buffy just wait here sweetie I'll be back in a second" Buffy smiled at her mom before Joyce went off round the corner with the doctor,  
  
As soon as the two were out of earshot, Doctor Thomas began talking,  
  
"Mrs Summers I'm afraid that Mr Giles lost a lot of blood"  
  
"Oh my goodness! Please don't tell me he's dead..."  
  
"He's not dead, well not properly. We did everything we could but I'm afraid that the only thing that is keeping him alive is a machine"  
  
"A machine?" Joyce could feel her own eyes filling up; Buffy was going to be horrified,  
  
"Thank you Doctor Thomas" She gave a cheery smile and watched as the doctor walked away before turning back around the corner to her daughter,  
  
"What's going on?" Buffy asked, "Is Spike okay?"  
  
"Honey why don't you sit down, there's something we need to talk about"  
  
"Oh no, he's dead isn't he? Oh God mom I can't..."  
  
"Shhh...he's not dead"  
  
"Well then can I see him?"  
  
"He's not properly alive either"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Buffy, I want you to know that I'm here for you and you're not alone in this..."  
  
"Mom! What is going on?"  
  
"Spike's being kept alive by a life support machine,"  
  
"W...what? You mean he's..."  
  
"I'm so sorry sweetheart"  
  
"I need to see him"  
  
"Honey..."  
  
"Let me see him!"  
  
"Okay, wait a minute" Joyce got up and went to the reception desk where Buffy saw her talking to the receptionist, she came back about a minute later,  
  
"I know what room he's in. Come on"  
  
Buffy followed her mom down a long corridor and they walked into the room where Spike was lying in a hospital bed. Buffy gasped when she saw all the tubes that where coming out of his body and where connected to the life support machine and at that specific moment she wanted Angel dead.  
  
She ran to his side, "What has he done to you?" she sobbed into his chest, "I love you"  
  
Joyce watched the tragic scene with tears in her eyes, how could Angel be so wicked and do such a thing? Spike didn't stir as Buffy whispered her love for him over and over as she buried her head in his chest and Joyce felt a twang of pain for the baby that Buffy was carrying.  
  
"Come on honey" she said to her, putting a hand on her shaking shoulder, "Let's go home, Ella will wake up soon and she'll wonder where we've go to"  
  
If in any way you are confused- this isn't the end and yes, Angel will get what he deserves. Please Review, all my love,  
  
Brittany  
  
xxx 


	12. Outbursts and Apologies

Hey guys. Okay I've been getting quite a lot of reviews telling me not to kill Spike. Don't worry; I love Spike just as much as any sane person should so I won't kill him.  
  
Chapter Twelve: Outbursts and Apologies  
  
Angel parked the car up outside the hospital. Taking a deep breath he ran his fingers through his hair and got out. Joyce had called him about an hour ago to say that her and Buffy where going home and Angel should go and see Spike.  
  
Spike. The very name of that jerk sent waves of anger and jealousy up Angel's spine, sure, Angel had Chantelle now but who was he kidding? What kind of relationship was that going to be before she went on to the next guy who she fancied? She was nothing compared to Buffy and now she had left him, he felt that he had nothing.  
  
Joyce had told him what room Spike was in when she rang and Angel could hear the constant snivels of Buffy on the background and even Joyce herself had seemed a bit distant. Was Spike dead? No, surely Joyce would have told him about that over the phone, so why was Buffy so upset?  
  
Angel tried to push them thoughts from his mind as he walked along the corridor to Spike's room, he was embarrassed to be nervous about seeing him and smiled reassuringly to himself as he reached the door. The smile quickly faded when he saw what he had done to Spike.  
  
His hand unconsciously covered his mouth as he walked to the man's bedside, the only sound in the room was the slow beeping of Spike's heart monitor, the two of them were alone and Angel realised that the only thing standing in the way of finally finishing Spike off once and for all was the flick of a switch. The only problem was that Angel no longer wanted Spike dead; he was overwhelmed with guilt as he sat down on the chair next to Spike's bedside.  
  
Buffy stared at the cup of strong black coffee that her mom had made for her. The two were sat at the kitchen table and Ella was playing with her Barbie dolls in her bedroom.  
  
"So Buffy. It's your birthday tomorrow"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Well I was just wondering if you'd like to do anything special, y'know just you and me...it might help you to..."  
  
"What? Take my mind off him? Yeah, sure cause a little quality time with mom really helps you to forget about the love of your life who is at death's door at the hospital" Buffy snapped back, her voice dripping with sarcasm,  
  
"I'm sorry honey I just thought..."  
"Yeah? Well you thought wrong! You think that a cheerful tone of voice and a cup of coffee is gonna make everything better? Cause it's really, really not!" Buffy stared at Joyce with fierce eyes and the elder woman was hurt.  
  
"I know you're upset..."  
  
"Ha! Understatement of the century..."  
  
"...but I'm only trying to comfort you"  
  
"Well it's not working. The only person who could ever truly comfort me is practically dead"  
  
"Sweetheart, try to think of..."  
  
"Please don't say other things because I can't okay? I think I..."  
  
"You think you what?"  
  
"I think I need to be alone if that's okay with you mom. Take Ella out for the day or something, I just...I just can't deal with people right now I'm sorry"  
  
"Of course sweetie. Are you sure you're gonna be alright?"  
  
"Yeah, mom I'm...I'm sorry for shouting earlier. It's not you"  
  
"I know" Joyce gave stood up and gave her daughter a quick hug before going into Ella's room "Ella get you shoes and jacket on we're going out for the day!"  
  
"Is Mommy coming?"  
  
"No she's..." Joyce looked at Buffy who was lost in her thoughts, "...She's busy. Come on let's go"  
  
"Okay" Ella walked brightly out of her room and put on her yellow jacket. She walked across to Buffy and put her hand on her shoulder,  
  
"Don't be sad mommy, it's you're birthday tomorrow" Ella kissed her mother lightly on the cheek before taking Joyce's hand and shutting the door behind them. As soon as she was alone Buffy burst into tears.  
  
Angel looked at his watch. He had been sitting by Spike's bedside for almost three hours and although he wanted to leave, he just couldn't stop looking at what he quite rightly blamed himself for. Standing up, he lightly patted Spike's head,  
  
"I'm sorry for everything" he whispered before heading back out to his car, starting up the ignition he made his decision, he was going to see Buffy whether she liked it or not, he had to.  
  
"I'm coming I'm coming" Buffy shouted as she wiped her eyes and opened the door,  
  
"Buffy" Angel said and was greeted by a vicious punch from his wife,  
  
"How could you?" Buffy screamed, hitting him again, "As if stabbing him wasn't bad enough but you..." she didn't finish her sentence but rained punches down on him instead.  
  
"Buffy...Buffy! Stop! I need to talk to you"  
  
"About what?" she sneered standing with her arms folded,  
  
"Our marriage" he said and Buffy's eyes widened,  
  
"Oh my God! She cried, "You just don't give up do you?"  
  
"No! No! Buffy it's not what you think" he yelled as Buffy closed the door in his face,  
  
"I want a divorce" a few seconds passed until Buffy opened the door again and walked back into the apartment, Angel followed, closing the door behind him.  
  
"How do I know you're not gonna just pull a gun out on me now" she said, straightening out her dressing gown,  
  
"Because you know I would never hurt you"  
  
"You hurt him"  
  
"Yeah, I did and I couldn't feel guiltier about it. Buffy, I went to see him today"  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I went to see him. Buffy, I didn't know that he'd be..."  
  
"What? Barely alive? Cause shooting someone kinda gives the impression that you don't want them to live"  
  
"I know. I'm so sorry"  
  
"Yeah, well, sorry isn't gonna bring him back" There was an uncomfortable silence before she spoke up again,  
  
"So the divorce...do you have the papers?"  
  
"No. I kinda just came here to tell you, I should have the papers by next week"  
  
"Oh..." Buffy looked sadly down at her feet. This was the moment her and Spike had both been waiting for, now that she was no longer Angel's wife she was free to marry Spike but now she couldn't, and it was all because of him...  
  
"Thanks. Now get out..."  
  
"Buffy..."  
  
"GET OUT! I don't want anything more to do with you"  
  
"I'm Ella's dad!"  
  
"We'll figure something out but I can't bear to look at you just go"  
  
"Fine" Angel walked silently out of the door and slammed it behind him, leaving Buffy to mourn alone. She jumped when the phone started ringing,  
  
"H...hello?"  
  
"Hello is this Buffy Summers?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"This is Doctor Kelly from the Sunnydale general hospital..."  
  
"Oh my God"  
  
"...I'm afraid that you're mother has suffered a heart attack"  
  
"Oh no. She can't be..."  
  
"She is alive but she will have to stay in hospital for a few days until we know for sure that she is fit enough to go home. You're daughter is with me and we would be grateful if you could come down to the hospital straight away"  
  
"Yes of course. I'll be there in ten minutes"  
  
I hope this chapter is good enough for you. I'm going away on vacation to Florida for ten days so I won't be posting any more chapters for a little while. Love,  
Brittany  
xxx 


	13. Arrestings and Awekenings

Hi guys. Sorry about the wait, after my trip to Florida my laptop broke again and I just didn't have the money to buy a new one…

Happy reading…

Chapter Thirteen: Arrestings and Awakenings

"Hey Mom" Buffy whispered lovingly to her mother whilst kneeling next to her hospital bed,

"Hi Buffy. I'm so sorry about this sweetie; I know you've been through so much I didn't mean to…" Buffy cut her off,

"No mom, it's not your fault. I know you've been under a lot of pressure lately"

The two looked into each other's eyes before Joyce continued,

"Your friend Cordelia is watching Ella in your apartment and I slapped Angel" Buffy smiled,

"Good for you, he deserved it. In a way I kinda blame him for your heart attack as well as Spike"

"It was nobodies fault honey and it was only a minor heart attack, I'm still alive"

"Yeah…mom?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really sorry"

"For what?"

"For not really being the perfect daughter"

"Oh sweetheart what are you talking about?"

"You don't have to deny it. I know that you're not entirely convinced that Spike and I are gonna work out and I know that you feel that Angel was better for me but…"

"Let me stop you right there. Two nights ago I think that Angel proved the fact that he wasn't good enough for you and yeah, I admit that at first I thought that you and Spike where just having a bit of a fling but I realise now that it wasn't"

"Mom, I didn't like you're choice of words right now"

"What do you mean?"

"You just referred to mine and Spike's relationship as past tense, when he wakes up…"

"Honey, as much as I hate to say this; when Spike was shot he was wounded pretty seriously in the stomach and he lost a lot of blood… Darling, I don't think there is much of a chance that he's ever gonna wake up" Joyce looked at her daughter and watched as a range of emotions played across her face; Sadness, anger and pure hatred for Angel. Her eyes began to fill up with tears as she spoke again,

"Why are they bothering then?" her voice cracked with emotion,

"Bothering to do what?"

"Bothering to keep him alive. Mom, if he does never gonna wake up then what's the point?" Joyce thought for a moment, then answered Buffy's question,

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"Mom, I love him so much but seeing him lying there motionless breaks my heart. Mom…is you sure that there is next to no chance of him waking up?"

"Certain"

"Well then I think that…" Buffy met her mom's eyes, "I think there are other people that need the hospital equipment more than him. I think we…I think we should ask if they could turn off the machine"

There was a short silence before Joyce spoke up again, "Buffy. Are you sure? Once they turn off that machine there is no going back"

Buffy stared into mid air for a minute, as if she was completely dispatched from the world. Did she really want to turn off that machine? She knew that Spike was a fighter but she also knew that her mom was right. She also knew that Spike wouldn't want to be trapped in a hospital. Taking a deep breath; Buffy made up her decision and spoke to her mother.

"I want to turn off the machine…tonight"

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Angel shoved his clothes inside a brown suitcase. He had made his decision, sure, Joyce had hit a soft spot with him before but he was not going to jail for the rest of his life. He figured that Mexico was his best bet for starting a new life, maybe meeting a new woman, getting married, having a couple of kids. It wouldn't be easy but Angel thought that in time, he would be able to get over Buffy.

Three short knocks on his door tore him from his thoughts…

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"I'm so sorry baby" Buffy whispered to Spike as she lovingly cradled him in her arms, she wiped her tearful eyes as she spoke again,

"You'd be like my guardian angel" she whispered but cursed as she realised that that would be giving her murderer husband too much credit.

"I love you…" Buffy said and cursed again as her cell phone began to ring,

"What?" Buffy said angrily,

"Buffy…please don't be mad" Buffy could have screamed when she heard Angel's trembling voice at the other end,

"What the fuck do you want?!"

"Buffy…I've been arrested for attempting to murder Spike" There was a long silence as Buffy wondered what she should say to her husband. Sure, she was pleased that he was finally going to get what he deserved; a nice lifetime in jail was the prefect way for him to finally be out of her life for good, but he was Ella's father, Ella was going to grow up without her dad,

"Good"

"Buffy, they've given me one phone call and I'm calling you because I think that you're the most understanding person I've ever met"

"You thought I'd be understanding? You put the love of my life into a coma and you thought I'd be understanding?"

"I'm sorry Buffy. Tell Ella I love her. I'm sorry for wasting your time" Angel hung up and Buffy sighed dramatically as she did the same.

"They got him" she said quietly to Spike, still lying there motionless. Buffy walked over to him and kissed him softly on the forehead before walking out of the door and going to find the nurse that was treating him.

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Cordelia was watching T.V when Buffy walked into the apartment, the brunette didn't notice her and Buffy waited in silence for a moment just watching the flickering on the walls before speaking up and making Cordelia jump,

"Is Ella asleep?" Cordelia shrugged off the sofa and walked to face Buffy,

"Yeah, she went to bed about half an hour ago…how's Joyce?" Buffy smiled as best she could,

"She's gonna be fine, it was only a minor heart attack but it sure scared everyone. Oh I don't know what I'd have done if she'd…" Buffy stopped in mid sentence and sighed; "I'm just glad she's still here" Cordelia nodded,

"And how's the other one?" Buffy looked down to the floor, holding back tears,

"Spike's still unconscious. I made a decision today"

"What decision?"

"I…" she paused, "…They're gonna turn off his machine tonight" Cordelia covered her mouth with her hand as Buffy continued, "There's like no chance of him waking up and as much as it hurts I just know it's the right thing to do" Cordelia watched Buffy as a single tear rolled down the blonde's cheek,

"Do you want me to stay with Ella when they do it? If you wanna go down to the hospital"

"Yeah. Thanks Cordy you're a friend" Cordelia smiled.

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Buffy walked numbly through the bleak corridors of the hospital, looking for Spike's room. There where so many rooms, each with its own patient and story, Buffy couldn't help but wonder if anybody else was in the same situation as she was.

She looked at her watch, Spike's machine was going to be switched off at ten and it was five to now, she felt weak as she walked into the room, there were two nurses and her mom was sat down on a chair next to the bed. She smiled supportively when Buffy entered the room.

"Are you absolutely sure about this Buffy?" Joyce asked, clutching her daughter's hand as fresh tears rolled down Buffy's cheeks,

"Yeah" she said simply,

"What about your baby?"

"The baby will remind me of him and I think its better that it doesn't see its Dad in a coma" Joyce nodded and there was a short silence,

"I don't think you're making the right decision"

"I do Mom, I know that it's the right thing to do" Their conversation was broken by the nurse,

"Miss Summers?" Buffy turned away from her mom and looked at Spike. He looked so small, so helpless. She wondered if he was dreaming about her,

"Hey" she said, and she took his limp hand,

"I love you…" she was crying now, "…and I know that this isn't the end" she kissed him softly on the forehead before looking at the nurse and nodding. The nurse looked at her with sympathy,

"Miss Summers, I have to ask you again. Are you absolutely sure about…" She stopped when Buffy felt the grip from Spike's hand tighten,

"Spike?" Buffy asked, looking at his face. His eyes weren't open but there was definite movement behind the lids, as if he was dreaming…

"Oh my God, I think he's waking up…Spike can you hear me?" The nurse rushed over and looked at Spike,

"Miss Summers I think you're right" was the last thing she said before Spike's eyes suddenly snapped open and Buffy saw his beautiful blue orbs again.

"Buffy?"

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Wad'ya think? Review please,

Love ya,

Brittany,

xxx


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